Do You Know How to Breathe Underwater?

Do you know how to breathe underwater? I don't. What if we were told that it was possible? Are you a believer or a skeptic? Can you hope and dream of more than you have in this moment?

If you are a logical, left-brain dominant "thinker", learning a process for something esoteric, like meditation, is difficult. We get caught up in trying to understand it. What if the need to understand something is an obstacle to personal peace and freedom?

Imaging being in a pool at the base of a raging mountainous river. The river is our resistance, the pool of water is our Personal Peace. If we fully accept that, we can imagine slowly sinking under the water to begin to connect with the inner peace that allows us to "breathe" (snorkels optional).

If we try to block the river with a dam, some day it will probably break through causing destruction. If we worry about the river's forceful entrance to the pool, we add stress to our lives. The more we are able to release our fears, the larger the pool of water (our personal peace) grows.

Thanks to scuba diving and snorkeling gear, it's easier to imagine personal peace more than ever. When I have snorkeled, I could only hear my breath and I appreciate remembering those moments as I meditate. It should be only that...Breathe in, Breathe out. Breath is crucial; we must know it is unlimited for us.

My goal for meditation is to reduce my logical, left brain from chiming in with thoughts. Concentrating on breathing gives me that space. With space comes creation. If I worry about not having air available to me, I start to panic...which is the opposite of peace.

That's what stillness and mindfulness are all about. As we are able to reduce distractions and judgment of ourselves and others, we accept ourselves in the moment. Stillness and acceptance create space. It's a skill, we can all build up to it. Let go and believe, one breath at a time.

xo
Conni

Imagine Emotional Free Radicals...Why Neutralizing is Important

My understanding of free radicals is that they are a by-product that can cause cell damage in increased and long-lasting amounts. An imbalance of free radicals (too many) and antioxidants (not enough) leads to oxidative stress, which can lead to disease.

I believe the same thing happens when we have too much emotional stress in our bodies. An imbalance of emotional stress (too much) and peace (not enough) leads to a host of negative effects. Everything we react to leaves an by-product that can build up unless it is neutralized. 

Is road rage really about the car cutting someone off in the moment or is it a build up of what has been happening and has been stifled emotionally? There is a difference between being angry in the moment and being filled with anger. There is a difference between being afraid in the moment and living with perpetual fear. 

We are a nation of producers. We are praised for accomplishments and production. Great work, good job, hip hip hooray...What if the internal work is as important as external accomplishments? How about an emotional processing report card? What if we praised empathy, kindness and self-reflection as much as we praised good test scores and athletic abilities?

I see emotional work as something similar to solving puzzles or equations. I enjoy solving problems. Emotional work can be done the same way. 

• I feel ___ because when this happened to me it reminded me of _____ . 
• If this makes me feel ____ , the next time it happens I should remember to ____ . 
• I always get anxious when I anticipate this situation ___ , I choose to know everything will be OK.

What if each day we exercised, ate well, increased our antioxidants and processed our emotions? It seems like a good plan to me. 

xo
Conni

Can You Imagine Bringing Home the Gold?

Have you heard the examples of how we can now accomplish things we previously believed were impossible?  On May 6, 1954, Roger Bannister set the world record for breaking the four minute mile (3 minutes, 59.4 seconds). It was incredible at the time. The Olympics make us all ponder striving for greatness. However, our minds have to accept new concepts before they can become reality.

The dreamers and creative people of the world help us embrace new ideas. Do you enjoy the concept cars at the auto show or the work of students trying to predict new generations of products? Some people follow the premise "seeing is believing", but we have to conceive it in a non-tangible form first.

There are always risk-takers who are willing and able to expand the limits of what we used to believe was possible.  When our patterns are set by repetition, it can become harder to think differently. People who are "stuck in their heads" may have a difficult time visualizing new concepts. Visualizing is a skill that can be developed. This is when it's important to let go and have no expectations other than taking some time to dream.

As you get older and your responsibilities increase, do you give up on your dreams? We all need to have new hopes and dreams to help us feel vibrant and alive. The key is to be content with our current situation while hoping for more. 

Xo

Conni

Away We Go...Finding Your Flow

We are conditioned to believe our beliefs. Each of us has a unique set of circumstances that have gotten us to where we are today. Nature / Nurture / Experiences / Sensitivities...factors beyond our understanding are contributing to our "set point" in our personal Law of Attraction magnetic force.

The most optimistic person born into this world will become fearful after living in real or imagined fear. We are who we are. The piece that many people don't fully understand is that we can change our personal happiness formula by digging deep.

When we have a reaction to something, the first thing we should do is ask ourselves "why?". Why does this bother me? If you do this for a few weeks, you can probably figure out which situations cause a major reaction. Those are what we focus on first.

Personal freedom includes becoming emotionally free. The more we know about ourselves, the more we flow. Flow is what we strive for. Internal flow is living without emotional resistance.

Misunderstanding comes into the mix when people think they are "letting go" but in reality are pushing away those feelings. When we think we are "letting go" but are not processing, those feelings can turn into hidden anger and resentment, causing internal stress.

We strive for flow. We want to acknowledge and accept emotions as they occur. That allows our bodies to reduce stress...and away we go!

xo
Conni

Secondary Emotions: What are we hiding?

In the course of what I do, I often ask the question, "if you had an emotion hiding underneath your first reaction to a situation, what would that emotion be?" For me, understanding that there is often more depth to our emotional stories led me to great personal revelations.

Secondary emotions, as discussed by Neel Burton M.D. in Psychology Today, involves feelings we are hiding, "Our emotions not only reflect and reveal our values, but also enable us to refine them. It is possible to have an emotion about an emotion, such as guilt or shame about envy, and to revise the primary emotion according to the secondary emotion or emotions.

Moreover, some of our emotions can feel clear or transparent, while others are more hazy or equivocal. For instance, our love for truth or justice is experienced as profound and authentic, whereas our resentment or disdain for a person of higher virtue or accomplishment lacks resonance and leaves us uneasy."

I personally found out I was hiding emotions. I believed I was being authentic. Upon further evaluation, I realized my less attractive emotions were immediately avoided by me as "unacceptable".

Ask yourself, "if I had an emotion hiding underneath my first reaction, what would that be?". This can lead you to amazing personal growth. I had been covering up my deeper emotions with what I considered more acceptable emotions. I didn't even realize I was doing it. I thought I was letting events "roll off my back", even when something bothered me.

We all have events that trigger us. Those events are our "red flags" to understand what we need to deal with at a deeper level. Leading an authentic life takes time and reflection. When we chose to dig deeper, new information becomes available to us.

xo
Conni

Do you ever feel "slightly damaged"?

Remember those bins in stores of "slightly damaged" merchandise, discounted because the items aren't perfect? One of the keys to success in the holistic world is to understand we are imperfect but whole at the same time.

As humans, of course we make mistakes and have bad things happen to us or someone we know. When we dwell on the slightly damaged parts of ourselves, however, we are not able to be at our best to serve the world. Believing we are whole gives us the ability to reach for higher possibilities, instead of limiting our potential by current circumstances.

It's similar to believing the world is your oyster. If you cannot imagine more, feelings of hopelessness can make our lives become drudgery. It makes me think of the old commercial "Time to make the donuts". If that's how you have been feeling about your life, it's not the way to live.

The cost of being hopeful is nothing. The cost of being hopeless is everything. Do you know what inspires you? When you are not working, do you jump out of bed for certain reasons? All of us have been through damaging situations. It's now that matters. If you need to process your damage, it's important to do that.

Thinking about the past should be a neutral or happy feeling. If it doesn't seem that way to you, there is work to be done. We can all move forward, fix our damage and be hopeful of a better tomorrow.

xo
Conni

Choosing Silence Benefits My Being

If you don't know what else you can do to improve a situation, sometimes, you just need to BE.

When you spend time with yourself, your power comes from making decisions out of truth instead of fear. I used to believe living your truth meant being perfect.  Staying in the moment, living your truth is about accepting ourselves and others without judgment. As we do this, the world opens up to new possibilities and we are able to enjoy our lives more fully.

It's not my business what other adults' personal choices are, it's only about me deciding what is best for me. Once the filter of judgment is lifted, choices become easier to make. Of course, it makes sense that we want to lead by example, modeling to others what we consider better choices. It is all good to gently offer up alternatives when we see people struggling. Power comes from living your truth and the people that are ready for change will be drawn to you. I can't change others, I can only change myself.

Spending time alone with your own thoughts is the way to your personal truth. I found the easiest way to begin was as I wake up in the morning. I put one hand on my heart and the other hand resting in my stomach, then I breathe and relax, finding peace, releasing fears, knowing that everything in the moment is OK.  

Some people find their silence in a peaceful walk, others find their zone in extreme sports. It is all good and beneficial. Releasing judgment, finding your own personal pathway to peace, acceptance, and joy, is why we are here. You are amazing.

Have a wonderful day!!

Xoxo

Conni