Do We Need to Prepare for Our Best Lives?

Some of us, and I used to be one of this group, believe we need to prepare for our "bounty" to come to us.  If you feel like you are not "good enough" yet for the best things to come into your life, you are incorrect.  Being open to receiving is an important step in our progress.

It is kind of like keeping the house in perfect condition in case Oprah wants to pop over and surprise you with the grand prize.  If having a perfect house is your thing, have at it, Missy!!  But if having a perfect house is overwhelming to you, if you feel it needs to be perfect to have Oprah or anyone else over; you are missing out on the joy of living each day to the fullest.  Some of my best memories and life experiences have come when my house was at its most disorganized.

Our physical house is a metaphor for our mental "house".  We have to "allow" receiving into our lives before it flows to us.  If you have ever heard yourself saying "I'm not ready" that can have detrimental effects to your energy flow.  Try to notice when you are saying that and why you say it.

Since none of us will ever be perfect, release your need to be perfect.  It is always good to want to achieve more.  However, sometimes we use the mindset of "not ready" to stop ourselves from moving forward.  It's a cycle of never-ending resistance.  Reducing resistance allows change.

Preparing is great, but don't let the fact that you haven't prepared stop you from allowing positive changes into your life.  We all start with our first step.  Congrats to those of you who have already started.

Have a great day!

xo
Conni

Exchanging Blessings, Gifts and Deeds

If you believe that every exchange with another person has to be equal, you might be missing out.  You give, they give, it's great to have expectations of what we need from other people.  But if we look at the bigger picture, we will see that giving expansively produces global results.

Be aware of cognitive dissonance, meaning our brains will only let us get so far with unfair exchanges.  Even if you give more than what you feel is fair, resentment that builds up hurts your body internally, which is worse that not gaining at all.  If we internally decide we want exchanges to be "for the good of the world" instead of exchanging with one person, we are opening up ourselves to globally receiving.

The paradigm shift of knowing we don't have to worry about keeping score gives us the ability to release the internal conflict of equal exchanges on a personal level.  Of course, everything is more difficult with family members because those relationships are the most complicated.  With people other than family members, when we try not to take everything personally, it opens us up to greater overall possibilities.

What does it all mean?  For one thing, if we see someone in need, we don't have to go through our filters of judging whether or not we are helping or hindering someone asking for a "hand-out".  We can give just because we are in a place to feel blessed.  However, it is detrimental to give what we don't have ourselves.  So giving a donation on a credit card without the money to pay it off won't help us overall. 

The goal is to understand there is an energy exchange, give and take, between all of us.  We can give money and receive service or give service and receive money.  It only matters that we understand we all give and all take, and that is OK.  Reducing resentment is always important, so until you don't feel ok with giving to others and you stop expecting an even exchange, stop giving "until it hurts". 

Have a great day!

xo

Conni

Not Necessarily.....

Is it bad/wrong to be wasteful?  Not necessarily.  What if we had extra cake or extra pizza or food that we all now consider "taboo", if we wanted to throw that away instead of eat it, is that bad?  We all know it won't help the starving kids in Africa to eat more ourselves.

Is it bad/wrong to be decadent?  Not necessarily.  If we don't treat ourselves well, no one else will think we deserve to be treated well, either.  Who said we should feel guilty for treating ourselves?

Interestingly, even the definition of the word "decadent" from Merriam-Webster is judgmental...

": having low morals and a great love of pleasure, money, fame, etc.

: attractive to people of low morals who are only interested in pleasure

: extremely pleasing"

It's wrong to want things that are "extremely pleasing" to us??

If we all took a breath and thought deeply about whether or not other people are making the wrong decisions and/or taking the wrong actions, we can more easily see both sides of the issue, which is what tolerance is all about.  The underlying reasons for other people taking the actions they take are not always visible to us.  Is it possible to give friends and strangers the benefit of the doubt?

Getting lectured isn't fun.  I remember "authority figures" lecturing me until they wore me down, "yeah, I guess I understand it better now, you are right".  But anyone can give an alternative viewpoint that makes sense; it doesn't always mean they are right, though.  I remember an "authority figure" mocking other people's clothes.  Are conservative dressers better people?  Someone's external appearance doesn't show what's in his or her heart.

Who says it's bad to be wasteful and decadent?  We all are made up of alternative viewpoints.  If we were all the same, there wouldn't be alternatives.  It's good to have different opinions.  I used to live my life trying to be perfect, never wasting, never making a decadent choice.  It was a life of misery and I never did receive that "gold star" I was hoping for...

Of course, trying to do our best means understanding the bigger picture of saving the world and sharing the wealth.  However, tolerance of ourselves and others for not being perfect all of the time gives us the chance to understand what we feel and why we feel the way we do about hot topics.  Of course I catch myself judging people.  Having an awareness of it helps me do it less often.  If you are hard on yourself for "splurging" or treating yourself well, how does it help the world to put yourself down?

Thank you for the gift of giving me the understanding alternative points of view.  I don't have to agree with someone on every topic to like them or support them.  I just have to know that it's OK to have differing viewpoints (unless, as always, we are engaging in illegal activities).

Have a great day!

xo
Conni

Do You Feel the Weight of the World?

When tragedy strikes, we all want to understand it.  We all want to know why serial killers kill, why terrorists create a reign of terror.  Part of it can be attributed to things we can prevent, but there is always a percentage that is unpreventable.  Can you live with that?

If you remember 9/11, former Mayor Rudy Guiliani had to instruct New Yorkers to go back out and live their lives again.  Broadway shows, restaurants and other service industries had no one to service, because we were afraid to live.  We can't live in a state of hyper-vigilance.  That is not a life worth living.  We have to put precautions in place and move forward.  

If you feel the "weight of the world on your shoulders", try this life-hack:  "I have people for that."  You know the horror movies where the girls at the slumber party stay up all night worrying about the scary noises, well, unless you are staying at the "Bates' Motel", tell yourself "I have people for that".  The people are our police, the FBI and Homeland Security, keeping us safe at night.  Then, we have to take basic precautions (lock the doors, make sure our smoke alarms have batteries) and go to bed.

Yes, there are a small percentage of psychopaths in the world.  We cannot guard against every one, it takes up too much energy.  Here's the irony, when we live in fear, our intuition is off, which could have allowed us to see evil coming toward us.  Our intuition can help us.  We just need to listen, in a quiet, peaceful state of mind; not in a scared, over-active brain.  We all have intuition, it's a skill we can build with practice.

Have a great day!

Xo

Conni

Locks and Dams, Waiting for Water Levels to Match

Have you ever seen a "lock and dam" sequence for a river?  If you are in the middle, it can be scary as the waters rise on one side or lower on another to find balance.  Why haven't we reached our goals?  In this analogy, fear is on one side of the locks and our goals are on the other side.  It takes persistence and conscious effort to reduce emotional fear.

Even when water levels are close enough to open the doors, there can still be  a rush of water as the levels settle.  When we fear something, it would be too much for us to handle if we opened the doors when the water levels were too far apart.  Our boats would tip over.  Emotionally, it can be the same.

My analogy of the locks and dams refers to emotional fears; for instance, fear of public speaking or fear of failure.  We can lower our resistance (the water on the high side) with meditation, breathing exercises, hypnosis and other forms of energy work.  Then, when our resistance has been lowered enough so that our metaphorical boats won't tip over, we can open up the gates.  Yay!  We can then learn how to move toward greater possibilities in this lifetime.

If you say you don't have any goals, perhaps you haven't taken the time to get quiet and try to remember what you desired as a child.  Those goals can still be reached.  If you wanted to be a ballerina, you can still take classes and enjoy the emotions of living the life you love.  If you wanted to fly a plane, that is super easy now with simulators.  Those emotions of "pure bliss" will bring joy to every part of your life.  Don't miss out on expanding possibilities in your life!

Have a great day!

xo
Conni

"Freedom, Justice and Dignity" ABC's Martha Raddatz interviews Homeland's Mandy Patinkin

ABC News Martha Raddatz from "This Week", talked to Mandy Patinkin of Homeland in a rare look behind the scenes.  In the interview aired October 11, 2015, he said,  "I hope there is something people learn from Homeland.  I hope there is something being taught about when we act on our own arrogance and thinking we are right (pause) what happens...people make mistakes."

During the interview with Raddatz, Mandy Patinkin mentioned he had previously met with John Brennan, CIA Director, and said about that meeting "...he wanted me to see his heart, and he wanted me to see that these CIA guys, these guys that get a lot of heat, that they are human beings.  What I love about Homeland is at their best, like Shakespeare...to show both sides fully, so whoever the enemy is, and on both sides I think we are all the enemy, and we are all not the enemy, when we do that, that's the game.  And if people feel that they are paid attention to, if they are being listened to, if they are being respected, I think the world will change.  Freedom, justice and dignity."

Yes, please, Mr. Patinkin!  We all desire freedom, justice and dignity.  We are lucky to be here and we all want to be heard.   I don't have to be someone's BFF or have them over to dinner to acknowledge that we all have the right to our own opinions.

It's easy to draw a "line in the sand" when we haven't walked in someone else's shoes.  Of course, "evil" is a different category; but many of us are trying our best most of the time.  The more we are able to consider other peoples' opinions and actions, the more our minds are open to better personal and global solutions.  Allowing someone to be heard isn't the same as agreeing with them.  I would make a terrible judge and a horrible member of a jury because I can easily put myself in someone else's shoes.

Our egos can get us into trouble when we believe it's not possible for us to be wrong.  I have seen that happen in the government agencies, but it happens to other people in other jobs, too.  If you haven't watched it, Homeland is an awesome show!  Most of us want the world to be better for our children.  I am grateful to the men and women who put their lives on the line to keep us free.

Have a great day!

xo
Conni

Purpose and Possibilities

We all think about possibilities at the beginning of each year.  New Year's Resolutions are a great way to have a chance for a "do-over".  During the rest of the year, however, most of us don't keep the thought of creating new beginnings in the forefront of our minds.  Getting stuck in our own personal histories can make it more difficult to implement positive changes.

Each day brings the potential of new and exciting possibilities.  Each breath gives us the energy for change.  If you weren't your current "story", would you choose differently?  That is the million dollar question.  As we mature, many people feel the chance of a life of purpose decreases.  That is just not true.  In fact, having a purpose is extremely important to aging well.  Patti Neighmond of NPR.org writes,

"To find out if having a sense of purpose has an effect on aging and adult development, Patrick Hill, an assistant professor of psychology at Carleton University in Ottawa, Canada, looked at data from the Midlife in the United States (MIDUS) study, which is funded by the National Institute on Aging.

Hill and his colleague Nicholas Turiano of the University of Rochester Medical Center looked to see how more than 6,000 people answered questions like 'Some people wander aimlessly through life, but I am not one of them,' and other questions that gauged positive and negative emotions.

They found that 14 years after those questions were asked, people who had reported a greater sense of purpose and direction in life were more likely to outlive their peers."

The purpose can be big or small, outwardly or inwardly focused, it doesn't matter.  We all need to have our basic human needs met before we think about creating a life focused on purpose.  After that, though, it's never too late to reach for the stars.  There is no age limit to being an artist, an actor, a dancer, a karaoke "rock star" or making the world a better place.  We can't allow ourselves to be defined by our or others'  limitations.  When you think about your childhood dreams, do your circumstances reflect them?

If not, each breath gives us another chance to gently move toward our hearts' desires.  Gratitude for your current life is the foundation for a better life.  Each breath, each day, each year gives us the chance to move closer to a life filled with purpose and joy.  Once you begin to accept yourself enough to nurture your body, mind and soul, it's easier to create positive changes.  

Have a great day!!

Xo

Conni

Today's Mantra:  I will take a moment to think about my purpose.

Mantra for Every Day: I choose to send love to all; receiving love back multiplied in infinite proportions, creating and nurturing pathways of love.