Enough Already!

Are you enough?  We have to be enough for ourselves before we can be enough for others.  I used to mold myself into the the person someone wanted me to be to get his or her approval.  Trying to be enough for someone else can be a road leading to unhappiness.

Self-esteem and self-worth is about being enough for yourself first.  Being the perfect "me" doesn't have to be perfect.  Being my perfect self means accepting who I am right now to be good enough.

If that's hard for you, begin to list the reasons why you can't do it.  With each reason, think to yourself "I was doing the best I could do at that time in my life.  I forgive myself for errors of the past.  My best is good enough."

The more you cut yourself a break, the less energy you give to beating yourself up.  You can use that space to create positive changes in your life.

Have a great day!

Xo

Conni

Today's Mantra:  I am enough.

Mantra for Every Day: I choose to send love to all; receiving love back multiplied in infinite proportions, creating and nurturing pathways of love.

Just for the Halibut;)

Have you taken the time to consider why you do the things you do?  Are you a risk-taker or are you methodical and careful?  Most children are fearless.  Did you add caution to your life as you got older? Being wiser doesn't have to mean you give up all risks.

Some people take actions to prove they are risk-takers.  Others do the opposite.  In my opinion, it's good to take risks, but we can mitigate the risks and still enjoy the thrills that come along with going beyond our comfort zones.

If you like to drive fast, there are simulators and closed racetracks to fill that need.  If you want to be a rock star, you could start with the feel of a standing ovation at Karaoke Night.  There are countless ways to take the risk of moving toward your dreams.  

Certain personality types want to do activities just to prove they can.  That's my definition of "just for the halibut;)".  Without labeling them or trying to define why people do the things they do, the need to test limits is universal, with some needing it more than others.

Yes, life is precarious and yes, we need to plan for the future.  But sometimes it's good to test our limits.  Because we won't know what we are capable of unless we try.  And oddly enough, the people trying the halibut are getting a healthy source of protein as a bonus;)

Have a great day!

Xo

Conni

Today's Mantra:  I choose to be aware of my personal limitations and test them when it feels right.

Mantra for Every Day: I choose to send love to all; receiving love back multiplied in infinite proportions, creating and nurturing pathways of love.

Can I Ask a Favor?

Why do we feel most comfortable with an even exchange?  When someone begins a sentence with the question "can I ask a favor", our senses heighten to be aware of what is coming next.  That is when our personal boundaries come into play.

We all have boundaries.  Part of having healthy boundaries includes an awareness of who we want to be.  We also need to maintain healthy boundaries by using our voices to be consistent with our personal limits.  We all have some leeway, however.  When boundaries are crossed, there is a certain amount of allowance for deviation.  

So when someone asks a favor, a healthy response might be "can I think about it for a minute" instead of saying "yes" without thought or consideration.  Saying "yes" right away may make it feel like we are being selfless.  But selflessness, in the long run, may be unhealthy.  

There is not one choice that makes us unhealthy, we need to look at patterns of behavior to understand ourselves.  Do you have an awareness of your patterns?  Awareness is the first step to change.  

Can I ask a favor?  It would be a great favor to me if you put more thought into how you react when someone needs something from you.  Your personal goal of how you wish to lead your life should be complimentary to your actions, most of the time.

Have a great day!!

Xo

Conni

Today's Mantra:  I intend to give thought to my decision before committing to a response.

Mantra for Every Day: I choose to send love to all; receiving love back multiplied in infinite proportions, creating and nurturing pathways of love.

"The New Job's A Hassle and the Kids Have the Flu"

Sometimes making time for the people we love can be inconvenient.  Most of us lead busy lives.  Do you make time for everyone?  Do you make time for no one?  Is family at the top of your list, or have you made your friends into your honorary family?

The song "The Cat's in the Cradle" compels me to ponder those questions.  (http://www.songlyrics.com/cat-stevens/cat-s-in-the-cradle-lyrics/)   When we have kids, it adds another dimension of "busy" into our lives.  There is always a list of activities that enrich our children's lives.  The soccer games and  band concerts add to the list of why it's difficult to spend quality time with the people we wish to honor.

Add those responsibilities to wanting to send our kids to college and hoping to retire someday and it's a miracle that we aren't all tearing our hair out!!  We are sending "Happy New Year" cards this year instead of Christmas cards.  The "old" me would have felt a lot of guilt around not meeting my own expectations but the "new" me is less judgmental and is going with the phrase "it's all good". 

I'm taking the time to be thankful that we have so many wonderful holiday parties to attend, we are also looking forward to family staying with us and we are grateful that we have money to buy presents for our friends and family.  We are lucky and we know it.  In addition, I know that even though fitting everything in may be difficult, we are creating traditions of honoring the people that are important to us, making plans and putting them on our calendars instead of saying "we'll get together then (when things slow down)".  Because by the time things slow down, it could be too late.

Have a great day!!

Xo

Conni

Today's Mantra:  I intend to make time for the people that are important in my life.

Mantra for Every Day: I choose to send love to all; receiving love back multiplied in infinite proportions, creating and nurturing pathways of love.

Don't Take It Personally.......

Taking things personally could lead to lower self-worth, if we are seeking self-worth externally.  Do you put more faith into the words of authority figures or celebrities?  It's not good or bad, but it's important to have an awareness of knowing that we could be valuing opinions that may or may not be true.  

Do you know any "haters"?  People who are unkind to us are most likely unkind to everyone.  People who are kind to us are most likely kind to everyone.  The most important relationship we need to have is with ourselves, and we can take all of the other relationships in our lives with a "grain of salt" or the layer of knowing that other people give their opinions based on what they believe and feel.

It (hopefully) goes without saying that we all have the professional or "best behavior" mask that we use for job interviews or lunch with Oprah or the President.  But when we are comfortable around groups, with people where we can let our guards down (take off our masks), uncensored comments are more likely to come up in conversation.  Uncensored words can be harmful, try not to allow it to get you down.

Have you ever seen the movie "My Best Friend's Wedding"?  Julia Roberts is chasing after Dermot Mulroney who is chasing after Cameron Diaz.  Julia calls Rupert Everett who points out that no one is chasing after Julia; this could make her feel unwanted.  My advice to Julia's character would have been to not take it personally.  Just because Dermot's character doesn't love you doesn't mean you are unlovable.

Loving ourselves unconditionally will give us the self-esteem to know that our words are just as important as Oprah's, the President's, or the person who is conducting the job interview.  If we take other people's comments or actions and send them through the filter of self-love, we know that we all have good days and bad days.  Our best is good enough.

Have a great day!!

xo

Conni

Today's Mantra:  I chose to love myself unconditionally.

Mantra for Every Day: I choose to send love to all; receiving love back multiplied in infinite proportions, creating and nurturing pathways of love.

Are You Living A Full Life?

Have you taken the time to write down what your best life looks like?  Does it include time with friends, time with family, downtime?  Living your best life is different for all of us but takes some consideration to make it happen.

This is what setting intentions is all about.  If you currently don't live the life you aspire to live, now is the time to think about what you see others having that you don't have.  No one has a perfect life 24/7.  With practice, however, the people who set intentions and "clean up" their subconscious negative thinking are able to recover from the low points faster than those who do not consciously intend to make changes.

With the start of a new year comes a great time to regroup.  A good tip is to regroup without overwhelming yourself.  Can you focus on a few small changes and a few bigger goals?  How about walking more, "leaning into" healthier eating and making a long-range goal of doing something on your bucket list.  When you wake up each morning, commit to those goals and move forward, allowing forgiveness when things don't go as planned.  

Forgiveness of ourselves and others is one of the main factors in bringing more joy into our lives.  When we "clean up" the space in our hearts and minds that currently hold anger, resentment and the need to beat ourselves up, we are taking away from our own ability to recreate our lives.

Have a great day!

Xo

Conni

Today's Mantra:  I intend to make healthy eating choices and have a long-range goal to do something on my bucket list.

Mantra for Every Day: I choose to send love to all; receiving love back multiplied in infinite proportions, creating and nurturing pathways of love.

What's Your Take On Robin Hood?

Robin Hood and his band of thieves stole from the rich and gave to the poor.  Is that a good thing or a bad thing?  Would you want him to be sent to prison if you were on his jury?  

Moral judgments can be tricky.  There used to be a show called "Ethics In America" where a panel of educated, repected men and women were given scenarios to discuss.  One I remember is whether or not they would give a homeless person money.  Some said yes, some said no, all had their reasons.

What about ethics based on cultural difference.  Being sly and clever might be wrong in certain countries and something to be proud of in others.  Conditioning plays a factor, as does whether or not ethics have been discussed and if authority figures "walk the walk" as well as "talk the talk".  

If I was a mother who couldn't feed her children, my answer to whether or not I think it's OK to steal is different than if I'm living the high life.  The show "Survivor" has many ethical dilemmas but because everyone on the show does "whatever it takes" to win, they know the rules of a civilized society don't count while the competition is in play.

Some would consider every day of our lives competition and therefore feel like the rules don't apply to them.  Have you ever been called by that society that has a name similar to a law enforcement agency asking for a donation?  Have you ever been manipulated into doing something you don't want to do?  Is it wrong to "make a sale" when you know it's not in someone's best interest to buy?

I don't have the answers, today I am providing "food for thought".  I think it all comes down to being able to live with our decisions and trying to do the best we can do each day, understanding, as Oprah says, that we do better when we know better.

Life might seem black and white to some people, but I see lots of gray areas of justice and I hope I will always have compassion for those who are making tough choices because those are the only choices they have.

Have a great day!

xo

Conni

Today's Mantra:  I choose to have compassion for others, because I have not walked in their shoes.

Mantra for Every Day: I choose to send love to all; receiving love back multiplied in infinite proportions, creating and nurturing pathways of love.