Opening the Floodgates :)

Whatever we resist slows down our "flow".  Resistance blocks our highest and best possibilities and potential.  We have the ability to change it through understanding and building our positive beliefs systems, beginning with the belief we are innately enough.Here's an example of how resistance affects us.....

You or someone you know has test anxiety; you are "trying so hard" to remember what you studied and it will not come to you during the test.  Maybe someone told you or you previously told yourself you were not a good test-taker.  The resistance builds with each test you take.  After leaving the testing area, the answers pop back into your head.  Most of us don't understand the insidious backlash of how resistance affects our day-to-day lives.  It holds us back from our potential like a negative force field.

Those of us who resist loving and accepting ourselves exactly as we are in this moment of time create more and more reasons why we are not quite "good enough".  If we only did better, we could love and accept ourselves.  Our negative beliefs attract more negative beliefs.  Those beliefs are the opposite of the truth.  Of course, we still need to build skills, practice, study for the test.  Everything is a combination of mind-body.  We need to work on both.

It is like having a pilot light in our bodies.  We have to begin by lighting the flame of knowing we are innately good enough just because we were born, no need to prove it with actions.  Then, we can enhance our internal flame by positively feeding the fire, but if we don't start with that positive belief, it is extremely difficult to change it.  People who show the world they are outwardly confident may or may not be confident on the inside.

Not one of us is perfect, so striving for perfection could make us feel badly about ourselves if we don't believe we are innately enough.  That is why living in the moment is powerful.  We make a mistake, make amends and move forward without beating ourselves up.  Forgiveness is incredibly powerful, but without knowing we are innately good enough, forgiveness will only take us so far.

How do we change?  On the conscious level, intentions can be effective.  "I intend to know I am good enough in this moment."  "I intend to love myself exactly as I am today."  The biggest bang for your buck is changing beliefs on the subconscious level.  That is where that little voice inside of us says..."hey wait a minute, you can't completely love yourself, remember what happened that time when you did that thing..."

We can change subconscious beliefs, our negative self-talk, with meditation, hypnosis, energy work, or focusing on our intentions to change right before we fall asleep or as we are waking up in the morning.  That is when our brains are malleable and accepting of change.  We all have the capability to change for the better.  The first steps are awareness and intention.

Have a great day!

xo
Conni

My Counsel of Heroes

Napoleon Hill’s book, “Think and Grow Rich”, is a classic for people who believe we can positively influence the course of our lives by changing thought patterns.  He used the concept of a Counsel of Heroes to focus on qualities he felt were his weak areas in his life.  Napoleon Hill used a group of men seated at his Counsel Table.  He was the chairman.  He rebuilt his own character through focusing on a composite of the characters of his counselors.  He called it "voluntary rebirth".

Here is my version of that exercise.  You might want to try it yourself.  Awareness is always the first step to change.  The Counsel of Heroes allows us to focus on our desire to move forward in certain areas of our lives....

Oprah, I wish to acquire from you and impress on my subconscious mind the qualities which enable you to inspire and arouse the population to a greater and more determined spirit of action; for my highest possibilities and potential, using pure intentions of making the world a better place.

Deepak, I wish to acquire from you the patience and ability to live in the present moment and attract people on the same path as I move toward living my heart's desires.  Your steadfast vision to improve yourself and the world inspires me to move beyond my current, self-imposed boundaries.

Martha Beck, I wish to acquire from you a thorough understanding of the principles of organized effort, which you use so effectively to manifest your dreams, to allow something greater than our current circumstances project.  You have provided me the ability to "find my own North Star". 

Tim Russet, I admire you greatly and I am still sad that I did not get to meet you in this lifetime.  I wish to acquire your spirit of persistence, poise, and self-confidence, while balancing kindness and the knowledge of how lucky you are through the Grace of God.  You life experiences were a road map to understanding how miracles can unfold for those who believe in a benevolent world.

Joseph Murphy, I wish to acquire your depth of knowledge and understanding of how to correct the direction of my thoughts.  Thank you for your gift to the world.  Your thought processes were so far ahead of your time.  

I greatly admire my heroes.  They allow me to see where I can change my intentions to create a stronger and more powerful "me".  We can choose to be strong as we become authentic, using our highest gifts and talents in the world.  If you are intrigued by the concept, I challenge you to use it in your own life.

Have a great day!

Xo

Conni

Finding Your Bliss :)

I spent last weekend with seven incredible women.  We met in a beautiful location to move toward our personal destinies as a group.  We laughed and cried.  We validated each other and gently pushed each others' awareness.  I was blessed and so grateful to be the facilitator of the group.

Unwritten
By Natasha Bedingfield

"I am unwritten
Can't read my mind
I'm undefined
I'm just beginning
The pen's in my hand
Ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten"

We are all "unwritten", but you have to be ready to move forward.  No one can force change upon someone who doesn't want it.  If you believe you are too old, too young, too "purple", it is untrue.  We can all redirect our lives toward our highest possibilities and potential.

To make major paradigm shifts after our belief systems have become entrenched in our minds, it is almost as if we have to cover our eyes and spin until we don't have a sense of direction, then use our intuition to guide us to our "true north".  It is possible, I promise.  We all have the ability to change our circumstances for the better.

If you don't have a group of people in your life who want the best for you, be on the lookout for members.  There is a force in the power of a group.  It can be a force toward good, or not so much.  Step by step, we can all change for the better.  It takes courage, but I believe we all have that courage inside of us.  My heartfelt "thanks" goes out to the group from last weekend.  I am forever grateful that you chose to move forward with me.

Have a great day!!

xo
Conni

Just Enough to Fool Them..."The Tracks of My Tears"

"Now, people say I'm the life of the party

'Cause I'll tell a joke or two.

Although I might be laughin' loud and hearty,

Deep down inside I'm blue.

So take a good look at my face

You'll see my smile looks out of place.

If you'll look closer,

It's easy to trace the tracks of my tears."

When I think about Robin Williams, I become so saddened for a life shortened by pain that people don't feel it's safe to share with the world.  I know and have known people with depression.  I feel like it's an underreported condition because of the shame attached to it.

We hear all of the mantras that tell us to "just do it" and "get over yourself already".  It can be difficult in today's world to tell someone you have a problem, when many people are overwhelmed and don't have time or patience for empathy.

If you are just active enough, just successful enough, or if you smile just enough to fool everyone until you are alone, it's time to reach out for help.  Life can get better.  It gets so confusing because we encourage people to be hard on themselves.  In sports and in the educational system in our country, we are all rewarded for perfection.  No one in this entire world is perfect, beating ourselves up is truly detrimental.

If you are chronically sad, or if you even know deep inside of yourself that you are depressed, please reach out.  If you are self-medicating, please reach out.  You deserve a better life and the world needs your unique gifts and talents.  People might smile because they are happy, but some people might smile to hide their pain.  No one deserves a life filled with pain.

xo

Conni

xo
Conni

Are You Embracing Your Life or Resisting It?

Whatever we resist has an extra layer of "yuck" attached to it.  With resistance, we need to break it down and try to figure out "why" we are not embracing something.  Then, we can make changes.

If you are feeling that overall your life is not joyful, start by thinking of what you love about it and what you dislike about it, then we can focus on what is not working and makes some easy changes.  Everything can feel better with a small bit of effort.

Are you loving your coffee or tea?  Have you considered flavored coffee or tea, what about flavored creamers?  It doesn't have to cost more, nor does it have to be from a coffee joint.  Do you dislike your commute to work?  If yes, have you considered listening to books or comedy podcasts?  There are lots of free offerings at the library.  It can turn time spent "getting by" into time well-spent.

What about your lunches?  If you are taking the same old sandwich, try spicing it up a bit, adding different ingredients, different condiments or even adding a love-note to yourself.  People will wonder what's going on when you smile at the lunch table ;)

Now onto that job...do you love your job?  Can you volunteer for a committee that would change up your work environment?  What about taking a five minute break to feel the sun on your face during the day?  Can you post for a better position or just update your resume so you are ready for change?

Sometimes, we all need a gentle nudge to realize we are stuck in a rut.  We don't have to win the lottery to embrace our lives.  We only need to understand we have more freedoms that we believe we do.  Then, take small actions to begin to feel good about our lives again.  You deserve to live your best life.  You deserve to love the life you live.

Have a great day!

xo
Conni

Today's Mantra:  I intend to make a small change today to being to embrace my life.

Misinterpretations: Perception vs. Reality

A Business Insider article by Christina Sterbenz from September 6, 2012 shares some misinterpreted quotes:  " 'Money is the root of all evil.' Not really. The love of money is the root of all evil, according to Timothy 6:10 from the King James Bible.

'Nice guys finish last.' Nice guys actually finish seventh. Leo Durocher, nicknamed Leo the Lip, served as the field manager for the Brooklyn Dodgers during the height of the Giants-Dodgers rivalry. He made some comment about Mel Ott, right-fielder for the Giants, being too nice, which made the team finish in seventh place. 'Baseball Digest' later reprinted the column in which his quote appeared but changed 'seventh' to 'last place,' according to Freakonomics blog.

Leo's misquoted words soon became a credo for over-aggressive coaches and guys with no romantic game everywhere.

'Blood is thicker than water.' This gets uttered around awkward family photos on the mantel of nearly every home in the country. The original phrase, however, meant the opposite. An earlier proverb preached, 'The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.' In this case, 'water of the womb' refers to family while 'blood of the covenant' means blood shed by soldiers. So really, military bonds trump your siblings and parents."  Thanks for clearing those up, Christina ;)

I always worry about being misquoted and misunderstood, then I go back to my own mantras:  "My best is always good enough" and "Following pure intentions is the best I can do".  As the power of the internet allows for words to fly around the world, it can be overwhelming to know we can be misinterpreted.  If fear is stopping you from raising your profile, do your best to have pure intentions.  That is why it is always best to take what you hear and compare it to your inner voice.  Our truth is inside of us.

On the flip side, if you have no fear of what you say, perhaps it is a good idea to pause before responding in anger.  None of us is perfect, I make many, many mistakes every day.  I do my best to work through my issues and rant only to my inner circle, not in public.

Words can be misinterpreted and words can hurt.  I try to lay low when I'm at my worst.  I was going through some deep healing yesterday, just ask my kids and my husband.  Yes, I apologized to them (walkin' the walk), but I'm glad you were not a "fly on my wall".  Just saying...I'm not sure how often "sticks and stones are breaking bones" but words can hurt so I try my best to use them wisely.

Have a great day!

xo
Conni

Does "Change" Bring Up Resistance for You?

There are ways to make ourselves more receptive to our best lives.  Some techniques are physical and other techniques are mental.  When you are ready for change, choose the ways that you find easiest to begin your journey.

Hydration is key.  If you are not sure whether or not you are hydrated enough, you probably are not.   I use Ultima Replenisher to add an electrolyte boost to my water.  Can you switch that last cup of coffee to an herbal tea?  I use Tulsi jamsine tea instead of an afternoon cup of coffee.

Walking barefoot in the grass is a great way to connect with nature.  Getting some TLC from your pets (or your neighbors' pets) allows the feelings of unconditional love to be shared.  Have you tried a relaxing form of exercise if you are not an athlete?  Maybe a nice walk or a bike ride?  How about turning up the music and dancing a little?

Mentally, we can all benefit from just breathing in a relaxing way to reduce stress.  Dr. Andrew Weil has breathing exercises on his website.  Staring at the flame of a candle will calm you down.  I also relax into watching my ceiling fan rotating while laying on my bed.

The most important part is setting the intention to change, setting time aside to do it.  You will benefit from five or 10 minutes of releasing negative emotions.  Intention plus action will bring you positive results.  No one is perfect, expecting perfection is setting ourselves up to fail.  I used to be a "junk food junkie" while also buying the biggest diet soda possible every day.  Now, I eat healthy most of the time and that is good enough!

Obviously bigger changes create bigger results, but we all have point ourselves in the right direction and start with the mindset of change.  Mind-body works so much better than mind or body separately.  Please don't be your own worst enemy.  Please know that you can make changes.  You deserve a better life!

Have a great day!

xo
Conni