"I've Got a Feeling........"

Do you look forward to each day?  Do you have an awareness of what you are projecting?  If you "have a feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night", there is a great chance your belief will come true for you.

Each day can begin with a clean slate if we allow it to happen.  It becomes a conscious choice to start each day with a plan to be happy.  If you haven't yet taken the time to write down what is important to you, what makes you feel tremendous joy, please try to do that exercise.

I start my day with the intention to have a wonderful day.  Sometimes, it's easier said than done to maintain optimism.  Making a statement of intent allows us to focus on positive events, remember to be grateful, and to get back on track if we fall offtrack.

Beginning with simple pleasures, I love to be warm so I enjoy the luxury of setting my heat at 72 degrees.  I love coffee all day so I have a combination 12-cup and single cup brewer.  Have you made your list of simple pleasures yet?

Other desires have also been given appropriate thought and consideration.  I love feeling like I can plan for vacations so I am signed up for daily email specials for travel.  It's wonderful to have warm weather to look forward to when we have snow on the ground where we live.  

Perhaps you believe you are unworthy, undeserving or unlikely to have your simple pleasures and/or long-term desires met.  If you don't have the feeling that "tonight's gonna be a good night"; deeper contemplation of why it isn't possible is needed.  You are worthy and deserving of the best life has to offer!!

Have a great day!

xo

Conni

Today's Mantra:  I choose to have a wonderful day today.

Mantra for Every Day: I choose to send love to all; receiving love back multiplied in infinite proportions, creating and nurturing pathways of love.

Releasing Resentment for the People Who Have Let Us Down........"Why You Gotta Be So Mean?"

Resentment is an insidious negative feeling.  Whatever we allow to expand becomes stronger, so having an awareness of our personal resentments is important.

A different and more healthy way to look at an event if someone let us down, is to believe that he or she missed out on the good things that happened in our lives.  This "spin" on the way we think through our past will allow room for empathy towards people we previously resented.

When we open our hearts and share love with those who love us back, love returns to us stronger and solidified.  If there are hurtful people on the outer circles of our lives that don't have pure intentions and perhaps do not have our best interests at heart, releasing resentment for them while protecting ourselves from further pain gives us the benefits of forgiveness.

Sometimes, people who have been hurt can become bitter.  Others may be in denial of how destructive it can be when people let us down and we don't process those emotions in a healthy way.  Neither of those options will allow us to live our best, most productive lives.  Bitterness or denying the past are unhealthy choices.

It is a gift to ourselves to process and work through old thoughts and events that do not serve us now. When you are able to release and resolve old resentments, you will have more room for positive emotions.

So if, as Taylor Swift says, "Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city and all you're ever gonna be is mean"; we can have the awareness of who those people are in our lives, protect ourselves, and enjoy our lives in the big ole city by releasing resentment toward our offenders.

Have a wonderful day!!

xo

Conni

Today's Mantra:  I am willing to release resentment towards others who have hurt me in the past.

Mantra for Every Day: I choose to send love to all; receiving love back multiplied in infinite proportions, creating and nurturing pathways of love.

Labels, Intentions and Obligations Can Limit Us

As we internally increase our self-esteem, the attachment to things we needed to boost our self-esteem externally become less critical.  For example:  do you know anyone who has a lot of credit card debt from buying designer clothes when they can't afford them?  Or do you know people who have luxury cars but have a hard time meeting their monthly payments? 

Taking action because it feeds our ego is different that taking action to do the "right thing".  Are you giving away more (time, money, effort) than you should because you are feeding the part of you that needs to be seen as a "rescuer"?  It comes back to healthy boundaries and pure intentions.  Taking the time to think through our actions makes the difference in understanding our truth.

Do you consider yourself a "rescuer"?  We all want to give back and help out.  That is normal.  But if your pattern is to rescue and rescue often, you may want to look into the reasons why it's important to you.  

Have you ever heard of someone saying it's bad to have an ego?  I think this is a misunderstood concept which can be detrimental if used incorrectly.  Whenever we have a label (i.e. "I'm a fashionista") that meets an obligation ("I have to buy the lastest designer bag even though I can't afford it because I'm a fashionista"), that is when our egos can become detrimental to our highest potential in life.  Having the obligation (to ourselves and others) to do something because it's "who we are" is the part of the ego that could take us off our most efficient pathway to success.

This is not the same as blocking our "NESS".  Did you see the movie with Owen Wilson "You, Me and Dupree"?  Our "NESS" is what makes us special and unique.  It comes from the inside first, though.  Our uniqueness that comes internally before externally is what we are striving for in life.

There are many variables that make the difference between whether or not it passes the test as to if it's an unhealthy aspect of the ego.  Whether it's a must vs. a choice; whether you would give up something else you need to have what you want; whether you feel authentic without having it; whether your self-esteem comes from having it; it's a deep and complicated subject when we start to have an awareness of what we are attached to.  Being attached isn't wrong, but it has to be further evaluated to discover our reasoning underneath it.

There is nothing wrong with enjoying our world.  Material possessions and our beautiful surroundings are part of what makes life worth living.  When you have the chance to think about who you are, try to discover what you are doing to enhance your "NESS" vs. what you are doing to show other people that you are "someone special" through your actions and possessions.  

When we are able to care more about how we feel internally about ourselves than what we show the world, we are reducing our attachment to the unhealthy part of our egos.  We are all evolving, we all have areas where we could change, and I am the first to say I am far from perfect.  But when I heard that I wasn't supposed to have an ego, I misunderstood that it's bad to have self-esteem, and that's the opposite of what it really means.

Have a great day!

xo

Conni

Today's Mantra:  I will become aware of how I identify myself.

Mantra for Every Day: I choose to send love to all; receiving love back multiplied in infinite proportions, creating and nurturing pathways of love.

This Isn't Working For Me

When you come to a crossroads, is it difficult for you to make a decision that goes against the crowd?  If I admire people, sometimes the "old me" would bend over backwards to take their opinions as "gospel".  It's an amazing shift when we understand that the answers can be different for each of us, and it's actually a good thing.

Conflict provides clarity, what you want to do vs. what you don't want to do.  If you are having conflict with someone in your life who is or was an authority figure and you disagree with him, it can be difficult to take a different path without considering his feelings.

Our pathway to our best lives includes shifts along the road that can potentially surprise others if they are used to us being less vocal or less decisive, but it's all good!!  Once we make the decision to change, each new direction doesn't have to become a screaming match, we can silently disagree with someone's perspective.  We can quietly become stronger.

Change doesn't have to be "shouted from the rooftops".  Even though it might feel more powerful to get nose to nose with the person you disagree with, it is not necessary.  Change does not become deeper from the level of our voices as we break away from our previous beliefs.  In fact, if it's easier to make silent changes, this is an area where the path of least resistance is a great choice.

Our private, sacred moments of clarity provide the best potential for changes.  Once we can envision what our next step is to create new possibilities, we will be able to expand on our decision and allow it to strengthen before we have to come into contact with someone who may not accept our decisions easily.

Have a wonderful day!

xo

Conni

Today's Mantra:  I choose to quietly become stronger.

Mantra for Every Day: I choose to send love to all; receiving love back multiplied in infinite proportions, creating and nurturing pathways of love.

Perhaps Rethink Making That List of Naughty vs. Nice

If you are "making a list and checking it twice" to see if you deserve to be rewarded, it is a bad idea.  Once we ask forgiveness and make amends, we need to let go of our need to beat ourselves up.  I used to be an epic worrier, I can almost claim the distinction of being the biggest worrier known to man (and what a prize that would be).  When our children were little, we went to a water park with another family.  My son was eight years old and he was a good swimmer.  The adults watched along side a wave pool as the kids were having fun.  My son was the youngest of the group.  

Unbeknownst to me, the wave pool had the options of going side to side or back and forth; although my son was totally safe when it went back and forth, he lost his balance because he was surprised when it changed direction to go side to side.  I saw it, the lifeguard saw it, and the wave pool was stopped immediately.  Everything was fine, but my "woulda, shoulda, coulda" personality kicked into full gear.  

My son wasn't even afraid, until he saw my reaction and felt my fear.  As I thought about the opportunity for disaster, I was paralyzed by what might have happened.  When disaster strikes or almost strikes, sometimes we use it to expand on why we should be more careful; more diligent; more structured.  

It is difficult to enjoy the freedom of living our best lives if we are restricting our every move.  Learning our lessons means that we use the filter of wisdom as we move outward and forward on our paths.  If you have the tendency to beat yourself up, please understand that a negative self-talk does not serve the world and it does not serve you in any way, after you have asked forgiveness and made amends.

When we talk about the power of staying in the moment, part of that means if our energy is fractured with worry about the past and the future, we cannot use our full power now.  So we do our best, forgive while remembering the wisdom of each lesson, and take steps for a better future while allowing our full energy to stay in the present.  Life should not be a constant tally of what we could have done better or how we can do better in the future, because if we do that, we are missing the point of now.

Have a wonderful day!

xo

Conni

Today's Mantra:  I choose to learn my lessons and move forward without attachment to past mistakes.

Mantra for Every Day: I choose to send love to all; receiving love back multiplied in infinite proportions, creating and nurturing pathways of love.

If You Need Perspective, Use A Fresh Set of Eyes

Have you ever been blinded by familiarity?  Have you seen something over and over again to the point that you take it for granted?  This is when it helps to revisit with a fresh set of eyes.

It's easy to take things for granted, the things we have become accustomed to.  If you've never been hungry, you may take food for granted.  If you've never been homeless, you may take your home for granted.

We all should have the chance to visit a third world country.  It gives fresh perspective to what we have.  Familiarity could breed contempt, but if we continually live through a filter of gratitude, what we see everyday can be seen as wonderful and amazing, as if seeing it for the first time.  

One important point is that guilt and shame for what we have does not enhance gratitude.  We are allowed, worthy and deserving of having our basic needs met and having dreams and hope for a better future.  Gratitude, by its nature, brings expansive possibilities that assist us in having the energy to take our circumstances to make the world a better place.  Happiness is a higher energy, allowing more potential than feelings of unworthiness, which have a lower energy.

To me, never losing childlike innocence means finding a way to remind myself not to take anything for granted.  Embracing the wonders of each day as if it was through the eyes of a child is positive energy worth the mental effort to cultivate.  With that energy, we can change the world, one step at a time.

Have a great day!

Xo

Conni

Today's Mantra:  I choose to see the world through the eyes of an innocent child.

Mantra for Every Day: I choose to send love to all; receiving love back multiplied in infinite proportions, creating and nurturing pathways of love.

The Gift of The Freedom of Choice

Sometimes, when I think about controversial subjects, it can be a good idea to take blame out of the equation.  I put it in a sealed box in my mind so it doesn't cloud the issue.  If you could do the same, it would be helpful.  Ok, great.  Because most of us have the freedom of choice as adults, do you know why people stay in jobs they don't like?

I'm not talking about being irresponsible or going "on the dole" just for fun.  But if you know someone who is in an abusive situation at work, do you know why they wouldn't be open to a better position?  My belief is that it stems from feelings of unworthiness.  If you believe you deserve to be treated badly, you accept it instead of knowing it's wrong and unhealthy.  

When we know we have the power of choice, the decision becomes whether something is worthy of our time and effort, as opposed to feeling like we have to stay in an abusive situation.  If someone doesn't feel worthy, it needs to be changed on a subconscious level to get the most bang for their buck.  

What you believe is true becomes your truth, until you change it.  Let's say you worked your full day, did your best, and even put in three extra hours.  Then, your boss comes up to you and says, "Did you send out the XYZ123 report?"  And you say, "No, sorry, there was a crisis on that other project and it took me all day to work it out."  

If your boss feels like what you did wasn't good enough (perhaps yells and screams) your reaction to her (did you think I was going to say "him"?)  will give you an opportunity to understand what you believe about yourself subconsciously.  If you think, "I'm comfortable with my work today, I did my best and I'm good at what I do", your self-esteem is strong.  If you think "I guess I could have skipped that trip to the bathroom and taken less time to drink that water", then that is a good indication that you believe you deserve to stay in an unhealthy situation.  

If we have an awareness that a situation is unhealthy but we choose to stay because of other factors, at least we understand we have the power of choice.  However, if we feel that we have to stay in a situation because we aren't good enough for anything better, that is when we can work to strengthen self-esteem.  Remember, it really doesn't matter about the boss.  She is in the "neutral, sealed box" because if we blame her, we are missing the intention of this exercise.  It has to come back to us to learn from the situation.

Of course, hopefully it goes without saying that in a perfect world, there would be no abusers, no victims, and peace would reign supreme.  In our non-perfect world, the victim never deserves blame for being a victim.  That is not the intent here.  My point is that if we believe we deserve to be treated badly, we are more susceptible to being treated badly.  And if we have strong self-esteem and we find out our boss is a nightmare, we will leave that situation more quickly than if our self-esteem is lower, when we have the freedom of choice.  

Our goal is to learn and grow each day.  Congrats for doing your best today!!  You deserve to be treated well.

Have a wonderful day!

Xo

Conni

Today's Mantra:  I choose to be aware of how I am being treated.

Mantra for Every Day: I choose to send love to all; receiving love back multiplied in infinite proportions, creating and nurturing pathways of love.

"Short People Got No Reason........"

Have you heard that song?

"Short people got no reason
Short people got no reason
Short people got no reason
To live............

Well, I don't want no short people
Don't want no short people
Don't want no short people

Round here"

One discussion of the lyrics says it is political satire by songwriter Randy Newman talking about "short-sighted" politicians.  I don't know the truth of his intentions, nor is my intention to judge it, but we all live with labels.  Some labels refer to physical attributes, others are about what we believe.  No matter who you are and what you believe, some people enjoy teasing others.

Some of us decide the way to avoid backlash is to hide.  Although that option is safer, it doesn't seem to be the best way to learn and grow.  Can we hide our true selves and be the best we can be?  I believe we cannot live our best lives unless we are authentic.

Whether the issue is that we believe we are too short, too tall, too wide, too narrow, too old or too young, we need to understand that the perfect person has yet to be born; so we are all in this together.

It's easy to find a reason to pick on someone, yet it's just as easy to find a way to praise someone.

The balance of power shifts as we move from each stage of our lives, the people who are revered and celebrated for high school attributes might become famous or might end up living on the poverty line.  Neither distinguishes the character of a person, nor does popularity.  Groups are fun and exclusivity makes us feel special.  The most important thing, however, is to know internally that we are all special.  Because no matter who you are, labels can be hurtful when they are used to hurt someone.

Have a great day!

Xo

Conni

Today's Mantra:  I intend to be careful about labeling others.

Mantra for Every Day: I choose to send love to all; receiving love back multiplied in infinite proportions, creating and nurturing pathways of love.

  

What's Your Mantra?

Using the second definition from Merriam-Webster, a mantra is:  "a word or phrase that is repeated often or that expresses someone's basic beliefs".  My favorite mantra to my kids is that I love them just because they were born.  In reference to the post "More on Praise", it is neither effort nor accomplishment (well, we could argue leaving the womb takes a bit of both); but to be loved innately is one of the secrets to allowing a person's inner strength to blossom.  

Have you taken the time to discover what you say to yourself and/or your family over and over during the day?  If it's negative, for instance, "of course that happened to me, I have really bad luck", you may be creating a mood of negativity.  What you perceive and repeat over and over becomes what you believe is your reality.  If you believe you are unlucky, each negative occurrence will be felt more deeply than if you believe you are lucky!!

These are the filters in which our brain takes a set of circumstances and puts it into a category, confirming what we already think is true for us.  The same event can be perceived differently by two people, but the way your brain filters it makes a difference in your mood.  It resonates based on whether you confirm an incident as good or bad, or let it go as an anomaly.  Our first reaction does not include objectivity as we decide how to perceive a situation, unless we purposefully do so.  We usually take each situation and put into a category already labeled by our brains.

If you think, "that person is always happy, he must have really good luck", or the opposite "she is always a 'Debbie Downer', she must have had a horrible life", both people could have had the exact  same events happen to them.  I just won $15!!  We could say "that is awesome" or "that won't help me pay the mortgage".  The person who thinks it's awesome will walk around with a smile on her face.  Full disclosure:  I did win $15 last night and I do think it's awesome.

How your brain filters information affects your mood; if it turns into stress, that can affect your health.  If you think your future's so bright you've gotta wear shades, we'll be standing back watching you change the world!!  How you act and react in public is part of the equation but what you are saying to yourself, in the darkness of night, is much more important.  If you make the effort to discover your self-talk, you have made a great discovery!!

Have a wonderful day!

Xo

Conni

Today's Mantra:  I will take the time to understand my mantras.

Mantra for Every Day: I choose to send love to all; receiving love back multiplied in infinite proportions, creating and nurturing pathways of love.

You Don't Have to Win Big to Feel Like a Big Winner

What's the difference between winning and winning big?  When making a better life for yourself, it's the feeling that counts.  At first glance, we might assume the dollar amount matters most, but what about the intrinsic value of being a part of something bigger than ourselves?  When we win as part of a bigger group, the feelings are deeper and resonate more fully with us.........a big "YAY".

The psychology of fantasy football is interesting.  The people I know that enjoy it feel like they have paid the salaries of the players, coached them, and they get insulted when the plays don't result in a touchdown.  They have passion, dedication, and are committed to the necessary effort it takes to be involved in putting the best team together for the chance to win.  

What about playing the lottery as part of a group?  Whether it's a win of a few dollars or a few hundred dollars, sharing the "love" makes it feel bigger.  The goal is to expand your "winning consciousness", are you willing to give it a try?  Let's find a way to expand our feelings of fun, prosperity, and knowing what it's like to anticipate winning.  It should feel easy and effortless, that's when you know your practice has paid off.

Online gaming commonly has no benefit other than bragging rights.  Why would people who win consistently online sometimes have low self-esteem offline?  Acknowledgment and validation of our efforts must be part of the equation.  We all crave those "payoffs", too.

Winning doesn't have to be about money at all.  If you haven't won the Power Ball lottery yet, have you won the "family lottery", the "friends lottery", or the "gifted with amazing talent and/or intelligence" lottery?  It's all about feeling like a "winner", and once you know how that feels, trying to strengthen those feelings.  When you do, the world begins to open up for you.

Have a wonderful day!

xo

Conni

Today's Matra:  I choose to expand my winning consciousness.

Mantra for Every Day: I choose to send love to all; receiving love back multiplied in infinite proportions, creating and nurturing pathways of love.