The belief that we can change the effect a negative memory, to allow more fun now, is powerful and exciting. My first impression of "zen" is thinking about (hungry) monks meditating on mountaintops. Hey, whatever floats your boat but that is not for me. When I used to imagine hypnosis, I thought about someone humiliating me onstage if I volunteered to be a participant: not for me, either.
The truth is, becoming more conscious of how I can control my reactions to situations has made me happier, more joyful, more productive: all without using illegal drugs ;) It is fun to wake up each morning knowing I have access to peace through meditation. I have become happier inside and out.
If you have had abuse or trauma in your past, you may have misunderstood an oversimplified version of mindfulness and being "in the moment". It doesn't mean we forget what has happened in the past; nor do we leave ourselves unprotected from bad people, places or things.
It does mean we get to a place within ourselves to ACCEPT the fact that events which happened in the past cannot be changed by holding onto feelings of anger, resentfulness or bitterness. Those feelings block our happiness in the moment of NOW.
Acceptance does not mean we allow ourselves to be hurt again, nor does it mean we let our abusers "off the hook" of being accountable. However, we do need to process and release the pain of reliving bad memories over and over again; as we find ways to keep ourselves safe from further abuse. Then, we can regroup and find more authentic happiness.
Have a great day!
xo
Conni
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