"Owning It" Involves Accepting the Consequences of Your Actions

I was listening to a story about some kids goofing around in a high school class with a non-observant teacher.  (Under advice from counsel I can neither confirm nor deny any incriminating details.) My first reaction was how to put a stop to it.  Yeah, I can be a party pooper.  My second reaction was, "don't do the crime if you can't do the time" (from the classic TV show Baretta).

So when Nicki Minaj sings "And I ain't paying my rent this month, I owe that" she has to know the effects of her behavior (based on the song) might be getting evicted, and she might be sleeping on a park bench or in a homeless shelter.  It's all good, but we have to think a few steps ahead to be aware of the consequences of our actions.  

No one is perfect.  I am not, nor do I claim to be perfect, but it makes life run more smoothly when we can project possible outcomes.  Natural consequences in parenting involves letting things play out to see what happens when our kids miss the bus, forget their lunches, or don't do homework.  

PsychologyDictionary.org describes natural consequences as "a method of teaching a child a lesson as a parent where instead of highlighting the consequences of an action, the parent will wait for the consequence to occur before highlighting it."

NATURAL CONSEQUENCES: "Parents may adopt the natural consequences approach allowing children to see the consequences of their actions for themselves."

If we are always being rescued, we won't learn the consequences of our actions, but having a support system does include people who will be there with you as you take responsibility.  People who say, "yes, you need to accept the consequences of your actions, but I will love you unconditionally and will stand beside you as you learn and grow."

Being loved doesn't mean kids are given a free pass to cause chaos and being strict doesn't me we withdraw our love from our children when they make mistakes.  As adults, we know the consequences of speeding, jaywalking, and not paying our taxes.  We take our chances, try to do our best and be good examples.  Life isn't supposed to be a process of worrying so much that there is no joy.  However, taking a moment to envision what could happen in a potentially dangerous situation could save our lives; or, at the very least, get us out of detention.

Have a great day!

Xo

Conni

Today's Mantra:  I choose to "own" my actions.

Mantra for Every Day: I choose to send love to all; receiving love back multiplied in infinite proportions, creating and nurturing pathways of love.