More On Praise...........

A paper written by Claudia Mueller and Carol Dweck (web.stanford.edu) analyzing six different studies suggests that efforts should be praised above ability.  

"Praise for ability is commonly considered to have beneficial effects on motivation. Contrary to this popular belief, six studies demonstrated that praise for intelligence had more negative consequences for students' achievement motivation than praise for effort. Fifth graders praised for intelligence were found to care more about performance goals relative to learning goals than children praised for effort. After failure, they also displayed less task persistence, less task enjoyment, more low- ability attributions, and worse task performance than children praised for effort. Finally, children praised for intelligence described it as a fixed trait more than children praised for hard work, who believed it to be subject to improvement."

So instead of saying, "you are so smart", we could say, "I am so proud of how much you studied for that test".  Instead of saying, "that was an awesome concert", we could say, "I really am happy that you have been able to spend so much time practicing those songs."  For science projects, "wow, I can tell you worked really hard on that!"

I have to practice this one myself.  Part of the issue is that I don't want my kids to be left out so if all of the other moms are saying, "you are brilliant", I don't want my kids to only hear "great effort".  Maybe we can combine the two, with a higher percentage of praise for efforts?

"Overall, our studies illustrate the important, and often unsuspected, role that praise after success can play in children's later achievement motivation. Well-meant praise for intelligence, which is intended to boost children's enjoyment, persistence, and performance during achievement, does not prepare them for coping with setbacks. In fact, we have demonstrated that this type of ability feedback can undermine children's motivation when they are later confronted with challenge. Indeed, researchers, educators, and parents alike might be well advised to borrow a guideline from the literature on criticism when they decide to praise children. That is, as with criticism, it is better to separate 'the deed from the doer' by applying praise to children's strategies and work habits rather than to any particular trait. Because children cannot be insulated from failure throughout their lives, great care should be taken to send them motivationally beneficial messages after success."

If we parent consciously, we are truly ahead of the game.  It makes a difference when we search out ways to further develop character in our children.  I believe the more we take the time to understand each child's individual needs and work toward enhancing his or her personal strengths, the better off we will all be.

Have a great day!

xo

Conni

Today's Mantra:  I will make an effort to praise my childrens' efforts;)

Mantra for Every Day: I choose to send love to all; receiving love back multiplied in infinite proportions, creating and nurturing pathways of love.