The Spectrum of Selfless to Selfish........

Selfish:  just the word alone used to make me cringe.  I would have done anything to avoid it. Are or were you a "people pleaser"?  Would you be offended if someone told you that you were selfish?  We all have a different baseline for what constitutes selfishness.  One person's selfish behavior is another person's altruism.  In fact, we all have different internal baselines for most behaviors people judge as right or wrong.  Who knows what we do to help others except for us?

Merriam-Webster defines selfishness as  "1:  concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself :  seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others."  But isn't the term "excessive" different for everyone?  When we are true to ourselves, knowing deep inside that we are appropriately taking care of ourselves is a good thing. 

If you were punished for being selfish as a child, you may limit your ability to reach for the stars as an adult.  As long as we aren't doing anything illegal, what's wrong with taking care of ourselves first?  Why do we sometimes care more about what others think (and/or say) than about treating ourselves with respect, love and kindness?  If it feels uncomfortable to take care of yourself, please take the time to reflect on memories of when and why you started believing it was always a bad thing. 

Of course, there is a spectrum of choices between being selfless and being a narcissist. Being selfish is good some of the time but not all of the time.  If we are responsible for young children, we need to take care of their physical and emotional nurturing.  But if you are always last on your list, regroup today!!  We can all work toward our dreams as we share any gifts, talents, money and/or effort we have in excess.  If you don't have anything in excess, don't feel guilty about not sharing.  Let's "put on our own oxygen masks first" and take care of ourselves in mind, body and spirit.  

Take changes one step at a time.  We shouldn't feel guilty when our actions align with our values.  Loving and approving of ourselves and our choices brings internal alignment, which allows self-worth.  

Have a great day!!

xo
Conni

Today's Mantra:  Taking care of myself first will give me more energy to take care of others.