We were watching a sports tournament yesterday. Our team won some and lost some. When our team wasn't playing, we were cheering for another team that had players from our school.
When neither of those teams were playing, we were cheering for the next town over. Then, we were cheering for our state, then we were cheering for our region. We want to be able to relate to the winners.
We all want to be connected and we all need a sense of belonging. Conversely, we all want to compete and win. Neither are wrong, but there is conflict. We can be sitting next to a boisterous fan for the other team and feel angry that he or she laughed at a missed play on our team. Then, that person will be friendly in the line for concessions and perhaps hold the door on the way out of the venue.
Sometimes, thinking of a situation backwards gives me perspective. If I met the same family in a foreign country, we would probably spend a while chatting about all of our similarities if we lived in close proximity to them. "Don't you LOVE that new grocery store and have you tried this AMAZING hole-in-the-wall diner?" We build relationships by acknowledging we have things in common.
When we are in close competition with them for a prize, no matter the prize's worth, we can all act like mortal enemies. Everybody wins some things; nobody wins everything. Winning and losing both teach us about ourselves and others.
I hope that I am teaching my kids that competition is healthy and important. Beyond that, I hope they know we are all human beings who make mistakes and no one likes to be humiliated for messing up. To me, that is equally as important as winning. In the heat of the moment, we all make mistakes. Hopefully, we can step back and realize we can overcome a bad call on the court or a missed opportunity for a point.
Have a great day!
xo
Conni
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