Let's "Go There" For Deeper Changes

Are you blocked (trying to change without success)?  One reason you may be blocked is that you're not willing to "go there" in your mind.   There could be a teeny, weeny part of you that has a negative reaction to things you mostly feel good about. Sometimes I see other people who are trying to get over an issue that they don't like about themselves and the unresolved conflict becomes an obstacle to their desires.

When something comes up that bothers them (something about themselves that they don't like) instead of taking on that thought; they say "nope, nope, nope, nope, nope" I'm gonna stop this right now.  I'm not going to think about it.  I'm going to deny it; it's too ugly.  I'm going to push that thought back down to where it belongs.  Go away bad thoughts!!  

As a technique to break the cycle of bad thoughts, I use a red circle with an "x" in it, in my mind.  That is "Step 1" in our process, having our minds stop the negative self-talk that goes in punishing circles.  "Step 2" is to eliminate the residual thoughts that are still hanging out.

Denying that a bad thought exists pushes the thought deeper; eliminating the bad thought stops it from coming back.  Denial actually makes it worse; giving it strength, like the root of a weed when you cut off only the top. 

The fact that you have a whisper of something about yourself that you find distasteful means you know for sure that it's something that you really don't like. And the things that you don't like about yourself are the things that you must further evaluate.

Maybe you hear some great news about a family you know.  You are truly happy for them.  "Congrats, wonderful news, so exciting!!!"  You really are sincere about your joy.  But underneath that, your hidden thoughts might be, "What about me?  When is my turn?  I'm good enough, too!  Here I am, waiting patiently, people......"

Tapping into these deeper thoughts is golden.  It gives us the information we need to find and eliminate the thoughts that are creating conflict.  The initial thought could be that it is jealously, but we truly are happy for our friends' successes.  On the surface, we don't even realize we are partially sad.  

We are allowed to have our turn.  That's reasonable.  We all deserve good things to happen to us.  Underneath, we may be feeling that we are undeserving of happiness.  Feeling undeserving may get confused with feelings of jealously, so it can get complicated.

Being able to identify our underlying negative thoughts will help us unravel why we get stuck.  All information is good information, because once these hidden beliefs are identified, we can work toward change.

Have a great day!

xo

Conni

Today's Mantra:  I will be aware of negative self-talk that comes up underneath positive feelings.

Mantra for Every Day: I choose to send love to all; receiving love back multiplied in infinite proportions, creating and nurturing pathways of love.