People Say Love Builds Bridges, I Believe Empathy Builds Stronger Bridges

You can love someone without feeling empathy for them.  That is called conditional love; that is when you feel like you can love them but draw the line at understanding or approving of them.  We can be harsh while telling someone that we love them.

Merriam-Webster.com defines empathy as:  :  "the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner; also :  the capacity for this".  

Empathy provides an attachment to someone, or a group of people because we are able to have a glimpse of what it might feel like to walk in their shoes.  The difference in situations that include empathy makes something that looked like a "yes" or "no" decision have a possibility of compromise and growth.

No matter what the final outcome of difficult situations might be, empathy brings special significance to the table because it allows compassion for other peoples' feelings to become part of the equation.  Have you ever heard someone say they understand what you are going through but you know it is untrue?  Some people have a harder time feeling compassion and empathy than others do.  People who have experienced emotional or physical abandonment during their formative years may be less able to feel empathy for others, and will also be hard on themselves.

When we focus on creating empathy, we are bringing something to the table that many people don't use, either by choice or by lack of awareness.  We offer to others the gift of taking judgment off the table, being able to see beyond whether or not something is a "good" or "bad" decision vs. knowing someone has done the best that he/she can do based on circumstances and where the person is in his or her life.

Harsh judgment of a situation, "I need to teach them a lesson" is less empathetic than giving someone the benefit of the doubt.  We all would do more for a personal friend than for a stranger.  What if we used that criteria for all people?

I have heard this example before, there is someone in front of you in traffic who didn't have split-second timing moving through a turn signal.  What if we honk our horn, basically saying "move it, you Bleep, Bleep Bleep" only to realize it's a close friend who had just brought you an amazing birthday present the week before?  Can we all take a moment to understand if we can more easily forgive someone we like, why is that different than forgiving someone we don't know?

Empathy is key to making an effort to understand people who are different than we are.  It is a wonderful basis of unconditional love.  If we had a judge and jury trying to decide what happens to us if we make a public mistake, wouldn't we prefer that the group has empathy for our situation?  It makes all of the difference in the world.

Have a great day!

xo

Conni

Today's Mantra:  I choose to use a filter of empathy when considering other peoples' actions.

Mantra for Every Day: I choose to send love to all; receiving love back multiplied in infinite proportions, creating and nurturing pathways of love.