Help Me

Do you need someone to save you?  Or are you looking for someone to support you while you are saving yourself?  The difference is more important that you may believe.  

Truth be told, we don't have to do everything for ourselves  We don't have to be competent in every skill in the world.  There are entire industries of people willing to help us for a price.  

What is your "default" button as you go through the day?  Are you asking everyone their opinions about everything and trying to come up with a consensus?  Or are you looking for information to make the best decision on your own?  Some people look toward the most powerful person they know for the answer, which may be right or may be wrong.

If you always doubt yourself, before and after decision-making, that's a clue.  People with high self-esteem make a decision and "put it to bed".  If they find out later they had made a mistake, they accept the consequences and move on.

When our deepest fears are involved, we tend to get overwhelmed really quickly.  One of my deepest fears is about safety, so I raise my hand for help faster with safety than with other issues.  I am working on it, though.

If you are looking outward for help, always believing others are smarter, stronger, better and more deserving than you are; there is some powerlessness inside of you that is causing conflict.  When you know you are enough, as you are at this moment in time, that brings harmony and peace to your actions.

And just to keep you on your toes, you may be powerful in certain areas of your life and feel powerless in other areas.  I've been there, reaching out:  help me, please help me.  I will be there again, too.  It's all a process, so don't worry or think you are broken when you have those days of crisis and needing to be saved.  S'all good, I promise!!

I heard an interview between Oprah and Iyanla Vanzant where Iyanla was asked her best and favorite prayers.  She said one was "help me" and if that didn't work, the next one was, "help me, now".  If you are asking for help, you are not alone.

The difference may seem subtle but is very important distinction in our personal growth:  "help me" as I know I am innately adequate but this is a difficult or new area for me vs. "help me" because I can't trust myself to know if I am making the right decision.  If we are inexperienced at something, there is always a learning curve, but believing we have the ability to learn should be our underlying thought.

We will all need to be saved at times during our journey.  Building our self-esteem allows us to help ourselves, when possible, and ask for help when we are out of our depth.  Going inward to identify the intention is the take-away here.  If you feel like you have worked through your toolbox and need help, or are in a crisis or a state of emergency; reaching out is the next step.  If you are reaching out because you feel insecure, going inward to work on those beliefs is important for growth.

It's not wrong to ask for help, especially if you are making changes in your life.  It only means that one of your internal blocks is not believing in yourself in this new area.  When I feel inadequate about something, I ask a friend to "hold my hand" as I become comfortable with a new skill.

Have a wonderful day!

xo

Conni

Today's Mantra:  When possible, I look internally at my intention before asking for help.

Mantra for Every Day: I choose to send love to all; receiving love back multiplied in infinite proportions, creating and nurturing pathways of love.