Can You Think of a Major Event in Your Life For Which You Can't Fully Forgive?

I have a few situations where I thought I had completely forgiven myself, I had been consistently releasing the guilt and shame over and over again. Since I have been focusing on positive changes, most of it is gone, but there are still lingering strands of unworthiness. I test where I am in my beliefs every day.  

If you have been conditioned to believe that you must hold onto the past, please remember forgiving doesn't mean forgetting or allowing yourself to be vulnerable to abuse. We learn from the past but we can do this without holding grudges. If I knew someone was abusive, I wouldn't allow myself to be open to more abuse from that person. If I was the abuser, I would ask for forgiveness and make amends.

Here is the good news: we can choose to forgive!! Yay! We can move forward with our lives. Regarding our mistakes, make amends and move forward; that's a good way to live. I commit to doing my best today, and that is good enough. Even if I make mistakes, my best will always be good enough. Also, I can choose to forgive others when I am ready; a bit at a time, if that's what works for you.

Some believe holding onto the negative emotions helps to keep you safe. That is untrue. You can keep yourself safe with the wisdom of past experiences without holding onto the negative emotions surrounding the experiences. Releasing guilt, blame, judgment and shame can take multiple attempts when the emotions are deeply embedded. The more traumatic a situation was, the deeper the feelings are rooted. Imagine the negative emotions in layers; our goal is to move forward, removing layer after layer.

When you are hard on yourself, the feelings become more difficult to release, but it's extremely worthwhile to do this, and continue doing it. Joesph Murphy says "Life holds no grudges against you." If life isn't holding a grudge, what's stopping you from forgiving yourself?  

We are hurting ourselves by living a smaller life if we can't forgive ourselves for making mistakes. Shame lessens your authentic power. If your goal is to be perfect, you are missing out on the growth you could have from new experiences. Giving yourself permission to fail is a significant way to embrace all of life's possibilities. In the end, you are holding yourself back when you are unable to forgive.

Have a wonderful day!

Xo

Conni