Cognitive Dissonance and How it Affects Your Daily Actions

The theory of cognitive dissonance, which was developed by Leon Festinger in the field of social psychology, is defined by dictionary.com as "anxiety that results from simultaneously holding contradictory or otherwise incompatible attitudes, beliefs, or the like, as when one likes a person but disapproves strongly of one of his or her habits."  Your mind will only allow a certain amount of variance before it's too much for it to handle.

If you believe you are a "good person" and you do something a "good person" wouldn't do, there could be an internal consequence to that behavior.  Here's an important distinction: a situation can be upsetting to one person and not to another person based on each person's internal value system.  We all have certain beliefs in common but our values are influenced by other factors including where we live, how we are raised, our lineage, our peer groups, religious beliefs, and the culmination of all of our personal circumstances.  

When an adult lives in a way that is significantly different from his value system, he may use unhealthy coping mechanisms to drown out his internal voice that is making him aware of his conflicting internal state.  People whose negative coping mechanisms have become habits often join others with the same habits, creating their own peer groups with new and accepting values.  However, the original value systems are still inside of the person, continuing to cause mental conflict.  

Celebrity Rehab, hosted by Dr. Drew Pinsky, fascinated me when I watched it.  The deep emotions that come out of people with addictions are always surrounded by unworthiness and pain, showing the chasm between who they have become vs. who they would like to be.  

No one is perfect.  We all make "bad" choices.  As patterns emerge with adults making "good" or "bad" choices, being able to forgive yourself for "bad" choices can make a difference in how often cognitive dissonance plays a part in your daily life.  Shame is incredibly debilitating to humans.  If you have shame in your life, it's an area that must be addressed in order to begin to love and accept yourself.  The more we love ourselves, the more possible it is to be tolerant of our mistakes.  Forgive yourself, make amends, and move forward.

Have a wonderful day!

Xo

Conni

Today's Mantra:  I choose to be tolerant of mistakes in myself and others.

Mantra for Every Day: I choose to send love to all; receiving love back multiplied in infinite proportions, creating and nurturing pathways of love.