No Thank You, but I Love You

My extended family loves to make fun of me for this one, but that hasn't stopped me yet, ha ha. They even made it into a song.  Saying "no thank you, but I love you" means I don't agree with what you're asking, but you are not being rejected by me when I am saying no to your request.

If you take it personally when someone says "no" to you (and most of us do), that means that you have a negative charge on that issue. Saying "no thank you, but I love you" takes away the sting, takes away the rejection of saying no to somebody. 

Again it's about healthy boundaries based on your personal values, beliefs, and circumstances. Sometimes it is so much easier to say yes, to friends, to coworkers, to kids, to random people who call you on the phone and ask you to donate a kidney.  (I actually am a registered bone marrow donor, btw.)  But if you say yes and resent it, it actually works against you in the long run.

"Mom, may I go to this party........order the large milkshake........hang out downtown all night?"

"No, thank you, but I love you."

"But Mom, everyone else gets to go........have that.........do that."

Everyone has different rules and that's totally fair.   Each family's set of rules aren't good or bad, they are just different from ours.  I am comfortable with my decision of saying no. And I do love you unconditionally.

Every request isn't a no for us, we all try to give our kids, friends, coworkers most or all of what they need and some of what they want.  It's always good to have clear intentions, and it's fair to take steps to change boundaries when you have decided they should be changed.  Baby steps are best when changing the status quo.  

Hey, if you have time, can you bring dinner to my family tonight??  I'll be out of commission for a few days because I am donating bone marrow to a stranger. (JK)

Have a wonderful day!!

Xo

Conni

Today's Mantra:  I have clear boundaries and I say "no" with ease and grace.

Mantra for Every Day: I choose to send love to all; receiving love back multiplied in infinite proportions, creating and nurturing pathways of love.