We All Have Personal History: Why Reactions are Human

Our personal beliefs show up as we react to other people in each and every situation. Since we are human, we all have resistance. Knowing when resistance holds us back gives us the gift of understanding what processing needs to be done before lasting change occurs.

I disliked history class in high school. Now I know that I can learn facts about what happened in the world if I choose to do that. When someone who is good at history lists facts and figures, I used to believe I wasn't interested; then I realized I wasn't interested because I believed I wasn't "good at it". That's resistance.

I can defend myself, just sayin'...nobody knows everything. I can either think, "she's right, I am not good at history", or "I am sure I can learn more about history if I choose to do so." My reaction depends on what I believe about myself.

If someone asked me about Ancient Rome and I don't know when the colosseum was built...if they muttered, "really, you don't know THAT??", the internal "me" would have judged myself. That limits my future possibilities and potential.

The processing of negative beliefs takes away the emotional charge that has built up around it. We want the original memory to be available to us without a negative charge, we want it to be neutral. I wasn't the best at history then, but I was good at other subjects. We all need to know how great we are in our own ways, then we can use our gifts and talents to make the world better. 

Be powerful. Know you are enough. If someone makes a comment and you react, use that information to process negative beliefs about yourself. You are worth it!

Xo

Conni

My Resistance to Exercise: Does it Have to be Painful to be Gainful?

Several months ago, I mentioned to someone that I hated to lift weights. I know that weight lifting is important for women as they age (umm, I do know that)...I was on board with the concept that this was a healthy practice. For whatever reason, I hated to do it, with a passion ;)

I was blocked, I was in my own way. 

When anyone tried to lecture me about why I just needed to "do it", it shut me down instead of creating change. Having the awareness of why to do something is important but when awareness isn't enough to make a change, there is usually emotional work to do on the issue.

Once I created a space (made a conscious effort to sit with the issue in a quiet way) to figure out why I hated it, I was able to have an awareness of my obstacles and overcome them, one by one. The cool thing was that as I passed the awareness phase, the obstacles almost overcame themselves. 

One thing I disliked was changing the weight levels during a work out. It was cumbersome and I was unskilled at it. I was out of my comfort zone, yuck. We can't learn a new skill without practice.

About that time, we found the bow-flex system where you can change the weight level by turning a wheel. I found it at a great price and had it delivered, problem solved. When you find something in your life that makes you shut down, you know to dig deeper.

Another issue was that I disliked working out alone. Almost effortlessly, my friend and I decided to schedule twice weekly work out/girl talk sessions, problem solved. We consciously made an effort to understand each other's needs and limitations. 

When you come to an issue in your life where you shut down instead of trying to solve the problem, there are usually multiple strands of resistance that need to be unraveled before you can make progress. Once the layers are separated, the solutions become easier. If kids, friends or clients can't find a solution, I usually ask them why it's not possible; because the answers are the key to finding their point of overwhelm and breaking it up into manageable pieces. 

Have a wonderful day!!

Xo

Conni

Edited and reposted: my relationship with exercise continues to have its ups and downs. I have much less resistance now, though. It's always a balance of living our best lives without beating ourselves up when we are not perfect.

I now have new and different obstacles to overcome but that is normal and OK. Step by step is the pathway to success.