When I used to hear mockery about viewing the world through rose-colored glasses, I didn't get why it was a bad thing to be optimistic. I totally believe in peace on earth and the concept that "what the world needs now is love, sweet love". Granted, it makes for a good fortune cookie and a great platform if you want to be elected to the position of "Mother Earth". On the other hand, who wants war, mayhem and escalating hatred?
To me, using a filter of seeing the world through loving eyes is different than putting on "rose-colored glasses". If you've never heard of Debbie Ford's book, The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, the concept is that we all have to embrace the negative parts of ourselves on the road to self-acceptance.
If we can't love ourselves, how can we love other people? I can't pretend bad things don't happen in this world. We are all involved in how we treat our fellow-man. If we don't "own" our parts in it, we can't be open to changing things for the better. I have to "own" my darkness to become lighter. It's about acknowledging an issue before it can be processed and changed.
"Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Conni stole the cookie from the cookie jar. Who me? Yes you. Couldn't be. Then who?" There is always a cookie missing. So one of us is culpable...or maybe all of us...does it matter who stole it if we all had a bite? I don't think we should go to prison or be stoned to death for stealing a cookie, but I do believe we have to "own" it and make appropriate amends.
That is one of the most difficult steps, although it seems easy. Our best is good enough, and our best doesn't have to be perfection. But we all need to accept the unacceptable parts of ourselves in order to accept the unacceptable parts of the rest of the human beings in the world. That is tolerance, and tolerance leads to greater peace.
I don't believe in public humiliation, wearing a Scarlet Letter or needing to shout our mistakes from the rooftops. I think we all have a chance to forgive ourselves in private. Your darkness is not my business and my darkness is not your business; unless we have broken laws, of course.
The more I accept myself, the more often I can use my "love goggles" to see other people. It doesn't mean I think I am perfect or that they are perfect. It means we can love each other, or be more tolerant of each other, in spite of our imperfections and differences.
Have a great day!
xo
Conni
Thursday, May 26, 2016
Friday, May 20, 2016
Do You Have "Fun-Envy"?
How do you react to someone else's good news or to your personal not-so-good news? Becoming aware of these reactions can lead to emotional growth and healing. We don't have to pretend it's a "silver lining" to take a vacation to Peoria when the rest of the gang is in Cabo. Though we can acknowledge the fact that our resentments and beliefs about why we aren't in Cabo will give us a list of how we are feeling internally.
If you have "fun-envy" towards another person's activities, ask yourself "why". Then, you can work on your thoughts about how comparing yourself to another person makes you react. Here's the catch, the more important healing is truly about those deeper thoughts rather than whether or not you are a sore loser. Although, being a sore loser (or a sore winner) is a "red flag" that there is additional work to be done to live your best life.
An example might be when you find out someone else got that promotion you wanted. It is necessary and appropriate for the good of your career to say "congrats" to the winner. After that, though, when you've made it home, if you take out your frustration/anger/rage on a loved one or badmouth the winner, that is an indication you believe you will not get your turn to win. People who need to "twist the knife" with malicious intent have emotional deficits. Not that anyone should condone bullies...but awareness helps us understand "why" bullies act out.
Alignment (with our best selves) is always about accepting "what is" in the moment and having hope and knowing that possibilities are limitless. If that is not happening for you, the metaphysical theory is that there are negative memories and/or beliefs that have to be processed to get you back in that hopeful groove.
None of us has worked through all of our issues. There is always more to be done. However, each layer we "process" brings more peace and less stress to our lives. That is the way forward. My personal goal is to keep moving forward, knowing that I will be triggered by issues that have not yet been healed, and using those instances to target new areas of where I need to heal.
Have a great day!
xo
Conni
If you have "fun-envy" towards another person's activities, ask yourself "why". Then, you can work on your thoughts about how comparing yourself to another person makes you react. Here's the catch, the more important healing is truly about those deeper thoughts rather than whether or not you are a sore loser. Although, being a sore loser (or a sore winner) is a "red flag" that there is additional work to be done to live your best life.
An example might be when you find out someone else got that promotion you wanted. It is necessary and appropriate for the good of your career to say "congrats" to the winner. After that, though, when you've made it home, if you take out your frustration/anger/rage on a loved one or badmouth the winner, that is an indication you believe you will not get your turn to win. People who need to "twist the knife" with malicious intent have emotional deficits. Not that anyone should condone bullies...but awareness helps us understand "why" bullies act out.
Alignment (with our best selves) is always about accepting "what is" in the moment and having hope and knowing that possibilities are limitless. If that is not happening for you, the metaphysical theory is that there are negative memories and/or beliefs that have to be processed to get you back in that hopeful groove.
None of us has worked through all of our issues. There is always more to be done. However, each layer we "process" brings more peace and less stress to our lives. That is the way forward. My personal goal is to keep moving forward, knowing that I will be triggered by issues that have not yet been healed, and using those instances to target new areas of where I need to heal.
Have a great day!
xo
Conni
Tuesday, May 17, 2016
Letting Go On the Left, Brings Flow to the Right (Brain)
If you have ever taken an interest in how our left and right brains work together (or not), you may have gotten as far as taking a quiz on which part of your brain is dominant. Here's my take on the situation, IMHO...
Left-brained dominant folks love to complete tasks. Right-brain dominant folks love to create and feel from the heart. Personally, I have always tested as about 50-50 left vs. right brain, so I am not dominant, but an equal combination of both (we can call it "brain ambidexterity").
I had an epiphany yesterday, after someone had told me to stop over-analyzing and start allowing the creation of what I desire. (Drum roll...) I love completing tasks to constantly feed positive feelings into my personal fan club of one. When I complete a task, I can be proud of myself. It validates my self-worth. "Wow, I really accomplished a lot today, YAY!" That need, however, can become detrimental to right-brained creation.
It's not about completing tasks, each of us has to "wake up, you need to make money". It is always about the personal motivation of doing what we do. The emotion connected to my motivation was that whenever I thought I had done enough, there was a subconscious voice saying "really, Conni, you can't push through and do more?" Which is fine, unless you do that all day, every day.
Our brains need time and space to "let go and create". Our imagination, intuition and creative abilities need a window of opportunity to function. If there is no space, that part of the brain can't do it's job. Admittedly, there is controversy in this genre of brain dominance. We can call it "theory", that's fine.
When I am actually able to "let go", I have some really cool ideas. To me, that is the proof I need to believe in it. After my epiphany, in my emotional healing mode, I released my obligation to complete tasks for the sake of completing tasks. I felt an internal shift, which is the sign we look for when we are working on emotional healing. Now, my fan club of one is less emotionally needy. That's how we start to flow.
Have a great day!
xo
Conni
Left-brained dominant folks love to complete tasks. Right-brain dominant folks love to create and feel from the heart. Personally, I have always tested as about 50-50 left vs. right brain, so I am not dominant, but an equal combination of both (we can call it "brain ambidexterity").
I had an epiphany yesterday, after someone had told me to stop over-analyzing and start allowing the creation of what I desire. (Drum roll...) I love completing tasks to constantly feed positive feelings into my personal fan club of one. When I complete a task, I can be proud of myself. It validates my self-worth. "Wow, I really accomplished a lot today, YAY!" That need, however, can become detrimental to right-brained creation.
It's not about completing tasks, each of us has to "wake up, you need to make money". It is always about the personal motivation of doing what we do. The emotion connected to my motivation was that whenever I thought I had done enough, there was a subconscious voice saying "really, Conni, you can't push through and do more?" Which is fine, unless you do that all day, every day.
Our brains need time and space to "let go and create". Our imagination, intuition and creative abilities need a window of opportunity to function. If there is no space, that part of the brain can't do it's job. Admittedly, there is controversy in this genre of brain dominance. We can call it "theory", that's fine.
When I am actually able to "let go", I have some really cool ideas. To me, that is the proof I need to believe in it. After my epiphany, in my emotional healing mode, I released my obligation to complete tasks for the sake of completing tasks. I felt an internal shift, which is the sign we look for when we are working on emotional healing. Now, my fan club of one is less emotionally needy. That's how we start to flow.
Have a great day!
xo
Conni
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)