Just Enough to Fool Them..."The Tracks of My Tears"

"Now, people say I'm the life of the party

'Cause I'll tell a joke or two.

Although I might be laughin' loud and hearty,

Deep down inside I'm blue.

So take a good look at my face

You'll see my smile looks out of place.

If you'll look closer,

It's easy to trace the tracks of my tears."

When I think about Robin Williams, I become so saddened for a life shortened by pain that people don't feel it's safe to share with the world.  I know and have known people with depression.  I feel like it's an underreported condition because of the shame attached to it.

We hear all of the mantras that tell us to "just do it" and "get over yourself already".  It can be difficult in today's world to tell someone you have a problem, when many people are overwhelmed and don't have time or patience for empathy.

If you are just active enough, just successful enough, or if you smile just enough to fool everyone until you are alone, it's time to reach out for help.  Life can get better.  It gets so confusing because we encourage people to be hard on themselves.  In sports and in the educational system in our country, we are all rewarded for perfection.  No one in this entire world is perfect, beating ourselves up is truly detrimental.

If you are chronically sad, or if you even know deep inside of yourself that you are depressed, please reach out.  If you are self-medicating, please reach out.  You deserve a better life and the world needs your unique gifts and talents.  People might smile because they are happy, but some people might smile to hide their pain.  No one deserves a life filled with pain.

xo

Conni

xo
Conni

Are You Embracing Your Life or Resisting It?

Whatever we resist has an extra layer of "yuck" attached to it.  With resistance, we need to break it down and try to figure out "why" we are not embracing something.  Then, we can make changes.

If you are feeling that overall your life is not joyful, start by thinking of what you love about it and what you dislike about it, then we can focus on what is not working and makes some easy changes.  Everything can feel better with a small bit of effort.

Are you loving your coffee or tea?  Have you considered flavored coffee or tea, what about flavored creamers?  It doesn't have to cost more, nor does it have to be from a coffee joint.  Do you dislike your commute to work?  If yes, have you considered listening to books or comedy podcasts?  There are lots of free offerings at the library.  It can turn time spent "getting by" into time well-spent.

What about your lunches?  If you are taking the same old sandwich, try spicing it up a bit, adding different ingredients, different condiments or even adding a love-note to yourself.  People will wonder what's going on when you smile at the lunch table ;)

Now onto that job...do you love your job?  Can you volunteer for a committee that would change up your work environment?  What about taking a five minute break to feel the sun on your face during the day?  Can you post for a better position or just update your resume so you are ready for change?

Sometimes, we all need a gentle nudge to realize we are stuck in a rut.  We don't have to win the lottery to embrace our lives.  We only need to understand we have more freedoms that we believe we do.  Then, take small actions to begin to feel good about our lives again.  You deserve to live your best life.  You deserve to love the life you live.

Have a great day!

xo
Conni

Today's Mantra:  I intend to make a small change today to being to embrace my life.

Misinterpretations: Perception vs. Reality

A Business Insider article by Christina Sterbenz from September 6, 2012 shares some misinterpreted quotes:  " 'Money is the root of all evil.' Not really. The love of money is the root of all evil, according to Timothy 6:10 from the King James Bible.

'Nice guys finish last.' Nice guys actually finish seventh. Leo Durocher, nicknamed Leo the Lip, served as the field manager for the Brooklyn Dodgers during the height of the Giants-Dodgers rivalry. He made some comment about Mel Ott, right-fielder for the Giants, being too nice, which made the team finish in seventh place. 'Baseball Digest' later reprinted the column in which his quote appeared but changed 'seventh' to 'last place,' according to Freakonomics blog.

Leo's misquoted words soon became a credo for over-aggressive coaches and guys with no romantic game everywhere.

'Blood is thicker than water.' This gets uttered around awkward family photos on the mantel of nearly every home in the country. The original phrase, however, meant the opposite. An earlier proverb preached, 'The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.' In this case, 'water of the womb' refers to family while 'blood of the covenant' means blood shed by soldiers. So really, military bonds trump your siblings and parents."  Thanks for clearing those up, Christina ;)

I always worry about being misquoted and misunderstood, then I go back to my own mantras:  "My best is always good enough" and "Following pure intentions is the best I can do".  As the power of the internet allows for words to fly around the world, it can be overwhelming to know we can be misinterpreted.  If fear is stopping you from raising your profile, do your best to have pure intentions.  That is why it is always best to take what you hear and compare it to your inner voice.  Our truth is inside of us.

On the flip side, if you have no fear of what you say, perhaps it is a good idea to pause before responding in anger.  None of us is perfect, I make many, many mistakes every day.  I do my best to work through my issues and rant only to my inner circle, not in public.

Words can be misinterpreted and words can hurt.  I try to lay low when I'm at my worst.  I was going through some deep healing yesterday, just ask my kids and my husband.  Yes, I apologized to them (walkin' the walk), but I'm glad you were not a "fly on my wall".  Just saying...I'm not sure how often "sticks and stones are breaking bones" but words can hurt so I try my best to use them wisely.

Have a great day!

xo
Conni

Does "Change" Bring Up Resistance for You?

There are ways to make ourselves more receptive to our best lives.  Some techniques are physical and other techniques are mental.  When you are ready for change, choose the ways that you find easiest to begin your journey.

Hydration is key.  If you are not sure whether or not you are hydrated enough, you probably are not.   I use Ultima Replenisher to add an electrolyte boost to my water.  Can you switch that last cup of coffee to an herbal tea?  I use Tulsi jamsine tea instead of an afternoon cup of coffee.

Walking barefoot in the grass is a great way to connect with nature.  Getting some TLC from your pets (or your neighbors' pets) allows the feelings of unconditional love to be shared.  Have you tried a relaxing form of exercise if you are not an athlete?  Maybe a nice walk or a bike ride?  How about turning up the music and dancing a little?

Mentally, we can all benefit from just breathing in a relaxing way to reduce stress.  Dr. Andrew Weil has breathing exercises on his website.  Staring at the flame of a candle will calm you down.  I also relax into watching my ceiling fan rotating while laying on my bed.

The most important part is setting the intention to change, setting time aside to do it.  You will benefit from five or 10 minutes of releasing negative emotions.  Intention plus action will bring you positive results.  No one is perfect, expecting perfection is setting ourselves up to fail.  I used to be a "junk food junkie" while also buying the biggest diet soda possible every day.  Now, I eat healthy most of the time and that is good enough!

Obviously bigger changes create bigger results, but we all have point ourselves in the right direction and start with the mindset of change.  Mind-body works so much better than mind or body separately.  Please don't be your own worst enemy.  Please know that you can make changes.  You deserve a better life!

Have a great day!

xo
Conni

Do We Need to Prepare for Our Best Lives?

Some of us, and I used to be one of this group, believe we need to prepare for our "bounty" to come to us.  If you feel like you are not "good enough" yet for the best things to come into your life, you are incorrect.  Being open to receiving is an important step in our progress.

It is kind of like keeping the house in perfect condition in case Oprah wants to pop over and surprise you with the grand prize.  If having a perfect house is your thing, have at it, Missy!!  But if having a perfect house is overwhelming to you, if you feel it needs to be perfect to have Oprah or anyone else over; you are missing out on the joy of living each day to the fullest.  Some of my best memories and life experiences have come when my house was at its most disorganized.

Our physical house is a metaphor for our mental "house".  We have to "allow" receiving into our lives before it flows to us.  If you have ever heard yourself saying "I'm not ready" that can have detrimental effects to your energy flow.  Try to notice when you are saying that and why you say it.

Since none of us will ever be perfect, release your need to be perfect.  It is always good to want to achieve more.  However, sometimes we use the mindset of "not ready" to stop ourselves from moving forward.  It's a cycle of never-ending resistance.  Reducing resistance allows change.

Preparing is great, but don't let the fact that you haven't prepared stop you from allowing positive changes into your life.  We all start with our first step.  Congrats to those of you who have already started.

Have a great day!

xo
Conni

Exchanging Blessings, Gifts and Deeds

If you believe that every exchange with another person has to be equal, you might be missing out.  You give, they give, it's great to have expectations of what we need from other people.  But if we look at the bigger picture, we will see that giving expansively produces global results.

Be aware of cognitive dissonance, meaning our brains will only let us get so far with unfair exchanges.  Even if you give more than what you feel is fair, resentment that builds up hurts your body internally, which is worse that not gaining at all.  If we internally decide we want exchanges to be "for the good of the world" instead of exchanging with one person, we are opening up ourselves to globally receiving.

The paradigm shift of knowing we don't have to worry about keeping score gives us the ability to release the internal conflict of equal exchanges on a personal level.  Of course, everything is more difficult with family members because those relationships are the most complicated.  With people other than family members, when we try not to take everything personally, it opens us up to greater overall possibilities.

What does it all mean?  For one thing, if we see someone in need, we don't have to go through our filters of judging whether or not we are helping or hindering someone asking for a "hand-out".  We can give just because we are in a place to feel blessed.  However, it is detrimental to give what we don't have ourselves.  So giving a donation on a credit card without the money to pay it off won't help us overall. 

The goal is to understand there is an energy exchange, give and take, between all of us.  We can give money and receive service or give service and receive money.  It only matters that we understand we all give and all take, and that is OK.  Reducing resentment is always important, so until you don't feel ok with giving to others and you stop expecting an even exchange, stop giving "until it hurts". 

Have a great day!

xo

Conni

Not Necessarily.....

Is it bad/wrong to be wasteful?  Not necessarily.  What if we had extra cake or extra pizza or food that we all now consider "taboo", if we wanted to throw that away instead of eat it, is that bad?  We all know it won't help the starving kids in Africa to eat more ourselves.

Is it bad/wrong to be decadent?  Not necessarily.  If we don't treat ourselves well, no one else will think we deserve to be treated well, either.  Who said we should feel guilty for treating ourselves?

Interestingly, even the definition of the word "decadent" from Merriam-Webster is judgmental...

": having low morals and a great love of pleasure, money, fame, etc.

: attractive to people of low morals who are only interested in pleasure

: extremely pleasing"

It's wrong to want things that are "extremely pleasing" to us??

If we all took a breath and thought deeply about whether or not other people are making the wrong decisions and/or taking the wrong actions, we can more easily see both sides of the issue, which is what tolerance is all about.  The underlying reasons for other people taking the actions they take are not always visible to us.  Is it possible to give friends and strangers the benefit of the doubt?

Getting lectured isn't fun.  I remember "authority figures" lecturing me until they wore me down, "yeah, I guess I understand it better now, you are right".  But anyone can give an alternative viewpoint that makes sense; it doesn't always mean they are right, though.  I remember an "authority figure" mocking other people's clothes.  Are conservative dressers better people?  Someone's external appearance doesn't show what's in his or her heart.

Who says it's bad to be wasteful and decadent?  We all are made up of alternative viewpoints.  If we were all the same, there wouldn't be alternatives.  It's good to have different opinions.  I used to live my life trying to be perfect, never wasting, never making a decadent choice.  It was a life of misery and I never did receive that "gold star" I was hoping for...

Of course, trying to do our best means understanding the bigger picture of saving the world and sharing the wealth.  However, tolerance of ourselves and others for not being perfect all of the time gives us the chance to understand what we feel and why we feel the way we do about hot topics.  Of course I catch myself judging people.  Having an awareness of it helps me do it less often.  If you are hard on yourself for "splurging" or treating yourself well, how does it help the world to put yourself down?

Thank you for the gift of giving me the understanding alternative points of view.  I don't have to agree with someone on every topic to like them or support them.  I just have to know that it's OK to have differing viewpoints (unless, as always, we are engaging in illegal activities).

Have a great day!

xo
Conni

Do You Feel the Weight of the World?

When tragedy strikes, we all want to understand it.  We all want to know why serial killers kill, why terrorists create a reign of terror.  Part of it can be attributed to things we can prevent, but there is always a percentage that is unpreventable.  Can you live with that?

If you remember 9/11, former Mayor Rudy Guiliani had to instruct New Yorkers to go back out and live their lives again.  Broadway shows, restaurants and other service industries had no one to service, because we were afraid to live.  We can't live in a state of hyper-vigilance.  That is not a life worth living.  We have to put precautions in place and move forward.  

If you feel the "weight of the world on your shoulders", try this life-hack:  "I have people for that."  You know the horror movies where the girls at the slumber party stay up all night worrying about the scary noises, well, unless you are staying at the "Bates' Motel", tell yourself "I have people for that".  The people are our police, the FBI and Homeland Security, keeping us safe at night.  Then, we have to take basic precautions (lock the doors, make sure our smoke alarms have batteries) and go to bed.

Yes, there are a small percentage of psychopaths in the world.  We cannot guard against every one, it takes up too much energy.  Here's the irony, when we live in fear, our intuition is off, which could have allowed us to see evil coming toward us.  Our intuition can help us.  We just need to listen, in a quiet, peaceful state of mind; not in a scared, over-active brain.  We all have intuition, it's a skill we can build with practice.

Have a great day!

Xo

Conni

Locks and Dams, Waiting for Water Levels to Match

Have you ever seen a "lock and dam" sequence for a river?  If you are in the middle, it can be scary as the waters rise on one side or lower on another to find balance.  Why haven't we reached our goals?  In this analogy, fear is on one side of the locks and our goals are on the other side.  It takes persistence and conscious effort to reduce emotional fear.

Even when water levels are close enough to open the doors, there can still be  a rush of water as the levels settle.  When we fear something, it would be too much for us to handle if we opened the doors when the water levels were too far apart.  Our boats would tip over.  Emotionally, it can be the same.

My analogy of the locks and dams refers to emotional fears; for instance, fear of public speaking or fear of failure.  We can lower our resistance (the water on the high side) with meditation, breathing exercises, hypnosis and other forms of energy work.  Then, when our resistance has been lowered enough so that our metaphorical boats won't tip over, we can open up the gates.  Yay!  We can then learn how to move toward greater possibilities in this lifetime.

If you say you don't have any goals, perhaps you haven't taken the time to get quiet and try to remember what you desired as a child.  Those goals can still be reached.  If you wanted to be a ballerina, you can still take classes and enjoy the emotions of living the life you love.  If you wanted to fly a plane, that is super easy now with simulators.  Those emotions of "pure bliss" will bring joy to every part of your life.  Don't miss out on expanding possibilities in your life!

Have a great day!

xo
Conni

"Freedom, Justice and Dignity" ABC's Martha Raddatz interviews Homeland's Mandy Patinkin

ABC News Martha Raddatz from "This Week", talked to Mandy Patinkin of Homeland in a rare look behind the scenes.  In the interview aired October 11, 2015, he said,  "I hope there is something people learn from Homeland.  I hope there is something being taught about when we act on our own arrogance and thinking we are right (pause) what happens...people make mistakes."

During the interview with Raddatz, Mandy Patinkin mentioned he had previously met with John Brennan, CIA Director, and said about that meeting "...he wanted me to see his heart, and he wanted me to see that these CIA guys, these guys that get a lot of heat, that they are human beings.  What I love about Homeland is at their best, like Shakespeare...to show both sides fully, so whoever the enemy is, and on both sides I think we are all the enemy, and we are all not the enemy, when we do that, that's the game.  And if people feel that they are paid attention to, if they are being listened to, if they are being respected, I think the world will change.  Freedom, justice and dignity."

Yes, please, Mr. Patinkin!  We all desire freedom, justice and dignity.  We are lucky to be here and we all want to be heard.   I don't have to be someone's BFF or have them over to dinner to acknowledge that we all have the right to our own opinions.

It's easy to draw a "line in the sand" when we haven't walked in someone else's shoes.  Of course, "evil" is a different category; but many of us are trying our best most of the time.  The more we are able to consider other peoples' opinions and actions, the more our minds are open to better personal and global solutions.  Allowing someone to be heard isn't the same as agreeing with them.  I would make a terrible judge and a horrible member of a jury because I can easily put myself in someone else's shoes.

Our egos can get us into trouble when we believe it's not possible for us to be wrong.  I have seen that happen in the government agencies, but it happens to other people in other jobs, too.  If you haven't watched it, Homeland is an awesome show!  Most of us want the world to be better for our children.  I am grateful to the men and women who put their lives on the line to keep us free.

Have a great day!

xo
Conni

Purpose and Possibilities

We all think about possibilities at the beginning of each year.  New Year's Resolutions are a great way to have a chance for a "do-over".  During the rest of the year, however, most of us don't keep the thought of creating new beginnings in the forefront of our minds.  Getting stuck in our own personal histories can make it more difficult to implement positive changes.

Each day brings the potential of new and exciting possibilities.  Each breath gives us the energy for change.  If you weren't your current "story", would you choose differently?  That is the million dollar question.  As we mature, many people feel the chance of a life of purpose decreases.  That is just not true.  In fact, having a purpose is extremely important to aging well.  Patti Neighmond of NPR.org writes,

"To find out if having a sense of purpose has an effect on aging and adult development, Patrick Hill, an assistant professor of psychology at Carleton University in Ottawa, Canada, looked at data from the Midlife in the United States (MIDUS) study, which is funded by the National Institute on Aging.

Hill and his colleague Nicholas Turiano of the University of Rochester Medical Center looked to see how more than 6,000 people answered questions like 'Some people wander aimlessly through life, but I am not one of them,' and other questions that gauged positive and negative emotions.

They found that 14 years after those questions were asked, people who had reported a greater sense of purpose and direction in life were more likely to outlive their peers."

The purpose can be big or small, outwardly or inwardly focused, it doesn't matter.  We all need to have our basic human needs met before we think about creating a life focused on purpose.  After that, though, it's never too late to reach for the stars.  There is no age limit to being an artist, an actor, a dancer, a karaoke "rock star" or making the world a better place.  We can't allow ourselves to be defined by our or others'  limitations.  When you think about your childhood dreams, do your circumstances reflect them?

If not, each breath gives us another chance to gently move toward our hearts' desires.  Gratitude for your current life is the foundation for a better life.  Each breath, each day, each year gives us the chance to move closer to a life filled with purpose and joy.  Once you begin to accept yourself enough to nurture your body, mind and soul, it's easier to create positive changes.  

Have a great day!!

Xo

Conni

Today's Mantra:  I will take a moment to think about my purpose.

Mantra for Every Day: I choose to send love to all; receiving love back multiplied in infinite proportions, creating and nurturing pathways of love.

Are You An Innie or An Outie ;)

It’s always important to protect ourselves.  Telling everyone that you know your deepest darkest secrets can sometimes be detrimental.  At the same time, opening up to other people that care about us can be therapeutic.  How do we protect ourselves and make ourselves vulnerable at the same time?  We truly only need to open up our deepest secrets to ourselves, no need to ask for a public apology.

When I see other people lash out from emotional pain, protecting themselves from getting close to others with harsh words and deeds, I imagine them with hundreds of bungee cords wrapped around their bodies.  Keeping all of our emotions "locked up" makes it difficult to move forward.

I see people with internal strength as having super powers.  They know they have magical internal powers of strong self-esteem protecting them from harm.  "Yes," they say, "I will walk forward with my shoulders back, exposing my heart because I know my heart is protected internally."  People with emotional super powers know they are enough.  The harsh words and deeds of other humans affect them less.

People who have internal strength, the "innies", can withstand more eternal fluctuation.  The "outies" may seem strong and tough, but can fold under external pressure.  I think, in reality, we are all a mixture of both.  None of us has 100% internal confidence in every aspect of our lives.  

See if you can spot the people around you who are protecting themselves.  They can sound the harshest, but they may have internal wounds they aren't ready to work through.  Nobody goes through life without wounds.  As we strengthen our self-esteem, we lean toward being "innies", and that will make everything in our lives easier to deal with.

Have a great day!

Xo

Conni

Today's Mantra:  I choose to protect myself internally by strengthening my self-esteem.

We All Know What The Big Bad Wolf Was Thinking...

We all know about strangers offering candy and the Big Bad Wolf.  Their "hidden agendas" to hurt us are obvious because we've learned about them.  Sometimes we hide our personal hidden agendas, even from ourselves.  Maybe you are blocking your own potential because you are afraid of getting hurt or afraid of being told you aren't good enough.

If you think about a goal you've had for a while that you have not accomplished, maybe you have even backpedalled, have you given thought to "why"? "First level excuses" might be hiding deeper reasons.  For example, why haven't you (please fill in the blank here)?

Our "first level excuses" might be:  I'm too busy; not enough time in the day; the kids; the job; the state of the economy, etc.  Perhaps underneath those excuses are the deeper, hidden agendas.  Maybe you don't (fill in the blank) because you feel like you've done enough.  You might be feeling unworthy, undervalued or undeserving.  Maybe it's because you feel like life is too overwhelming and there's no point.  "Why bother" has negative emotions attached to it.  Only you know your personal answer to the question of why you haven't taken steps toward your goals.

Perhaps you are afraid that someone will make fun of your attempts to do better.  Don't tell them about it, if you feel the need to protect yourself!  Please don't allow fear to stop your possibilities for greatness.

If you take one step a day toward your dreams, you are well on your way to your personal destiny.  With each step, notice if your body is giving you feedback.  Where do you hold stress in your body?  If something "flares up", try to note what is going on in your life emotionally at that time.

I believe in the mind-body connection.  The more I pause and take note of how my body reacts to situations, the better I can figure out any hidden agendas I might have.  We all need to become the experts of ourselves.  Listening to our inner voices is really important for brighter futures.

Have a great day!

xo
Conni

Can I Choose Anything?

I was reading about someone planning their wedding shower.  Their funds were unlimited so they started off with that frame of mind...

The bride said, "I would love to have those specialty cakes for the shower, and those petit sandwiches and the beautifully designed favors and those flowers, but they might be out of season, that's OK, right?"  It made my head spin.  Whatever your negative thoughts are to that scenario, those are some of your blocks to more money.

Why can't we "order from the catalog of life"?  Who told you that you couldn't?  Part of the equation is moving too far from your current state of money consciousness.  Jumping "into the deep end" without knowing how to swim works sometimes, like that "Hail Mary Pass" in football.  The more probable way to increasing our "abundance consciousness", though, it to take it a step at a time.

Our comfort level is on a spectrum.  Some people get stuck on, "really, she needs a 'specialty' cake??  OMG!" and other people are OK with that but we lose them at the "beautifully designed favors".  A few of us are fine with it all.  Why not?  You only live once, right?  That's great if you have the bank accounts to back it up.

Our "conditioning" about money comes from our childhood, our personal life experiences, our peer group and maybe a few other factors.  It's a lot to de-code but it starts with awareness.  Just write down your true feelings about extravagance and also have an awareness of what you consider extravagant.  It starts with information for the greater good of you.

We all deserve to have "Champagne Tastes and Caviar Dreams".  The work is partially mental and it is done a step at a time.  If you resent other people with more money, that is a block in itself; because if you don't think "they" deserve it, part of you doesn't believe "you" deserve it.

Growing up, we allotted little to no money for decorating for holidays.  Today, I still struggle with buying a pumpkin because it goes against my "conditioning".  I will do it, I just don't go out of my way to do it.  It doesn't make me a better person to have no decorations.  It makes me uncomfortable to splurge on those items, but I'm working on why that is.  (I splurge in other areas, though.)

We all have our money idiosyncrasies.  It is personal and emotional.  Working through them will allow more into our lives.  Our brains and bodies want us to be comfortable with our decisions.  We can alter where we are on the spectrum of money, so we become comfortable with more.

Have a great day!

xo
Conni

"Today I don't feel like doing anything"

My highest potential is different that anyone else's because we all have different gifts and talents.  Are you making the most of what you have been given?  I used to tell my kids "everyone is good at something, no one is good at everything".  Some talents are more popular in kids than others.  If you have a less-popular talent, it can blossom as an adult.

It's a delicate balance between knowing we are doing enough versus making the most of each possibility.  If you aren't ready, you aren't ready.  If saying "no" to something on your "bucket list" is the best you can do that day, it's healthy to listen to your own intuition.

It's too much pressure to have to make sure each breath is "well-used".  Balance is key.  Interestingly, though, taking the pressure off can make us more productive!  My inner voice used to be so harsh I could become paralyzed by fear.

If you have a day where you "just want to lay in your bed", try to enjoy the sunshine through the window or enjoy your pillow, blanket and mattress.  That's making the most of your day, too.

Loving ourselves, being true to ourselves and being OK with our decisions are more important than what other people think about us.  If you love yourself, you will shine in front of a crowd!

Of course, we all need to socialize and be comfortable in society, that's not what I'm talking about.  I'm guessing Ferris Bueller had a more successful life than his buttoned-up sister.  (P.S. I was the buttoned-up one in high school.)

Know what you know, do what you do and be proud of your best each day, even if you were really good at communing with your mattress ;)  Releasing our expectations will give us the freedom to see possibilities we might not have seen otherwise.

Have a great day!

xo
Conni

Just My Two Cents.....

So I was thinking....if I was out and about and someone asked me for a few pennies, I can't imagine saying "no" to them.  When we talk about "saving a few cents out of every dollar for a rainy day", it can become overwhelming.  However, taking any big issue and "chunking it down" into smaller pieces makes it easier. When I think about pennies, I'm like, yeah, no prob, Bob.  But if I think in terms of yearly totals of 37 cents multiplied by 365 days in a year, my mind says "Stop, are you crazy?  I could use that money now for more groceries!"

That is what we call (in the business) "resistance".  "Resistance" makes us resistant to change.  So we need to trick our minds into reducing that resistance so change is easier.  If you have a savings plan at work that your company matches, please use it.  If you have a bank that offers you the ability to "round up" every dollar and save the pennies, you won't miss the short-term pennies.  

Bank of America has a "Keep the Change" program...
"How Keep the Change works
Enroll in our Keep the Change savings program and when you make everyday purchases with your Bank of America debit card, we'll:
Round up your purchase to the nearest dollar amount
Transfer the difference from your checking account to your savings account
Track your savings in Online Banking"  (there is some fine print to read...)

If you remember Christmas Clubs at the bank, they offered a way to save a few dollars every week to have enough for presents in December (after Santa's presents, of course).  Many other people have thought of clever ways to save a bit at a time adding up to a lot later.  

If it's not a new concept, why don't we have 100% participation yet?  You have your own answers to that question if you are a non-participant.  The saddest answer is some people believe they won't live until retirement so it doesn't matter.  Not cool, dude!  We are all worthy and deserving of saving for a better future.

Saving can be doable and easy-peasy.  We just have to reduce "resistance" to change.  If you know what's holding you back, do your best to try to release those reasons.  It's easy to say, "of course I have an extra 37 cents", but the long-term outcome of what you do with it can become either overwhelming or exciting, based on your point of view.  Realizing it adds up will work in our favor after we reduce resistance to change.

Have a great day!

xo
Conni

What Do You Think About That?

Getting clear and grounded before asking other people their opinions about important decisions are key factors in living your best life.  Because we know everyone has an opinion and some people have very strong opinions about everything.

When I am making an important decision, I test my answer by saying it to myself to see how it feels in my body.  I hold stress in my stomach so if I get a stomach ache, I know that's fear.  That doesn't determine the answer, though, because my fears could be unrealistic or exaggerated.

If it's important to you, it's important.  I'm not sure there are as many "no-brainer" decisions as people think there are.  If someone says "that's a no-brainer" and I think "it is?"  I am feeling that his or her answer is better than mine, not true!!  As we learn more about our internal selves, we realize understanding whether or not our fears are an over-reaction is a skill we can develop.

Here is an example.  Several years ago, we realized we had 100,000 miles on an old SUV.  I started to worry about it breaking down so we decided to buy a mildly-used car from a relative.  Then, we decided to keep the SUV because we needed to tow heavy things.  Aarghhh.....my fear led us to making a decision that wasn't worthwhile.  Come to find out, the used car we bought wasn't good in the snow and we live in the Midwest.  I would have chosen differently now.  I try to move past the initial fear of "I now have to take action because this criteria has been met and it is the smartest decision according to them".

How do we get clear?  Try to think about the possible outcomes on the "pro" and "con" sides of the decision.  Then, ask yourself if other people's judgment of you is a factor.  Also, find a quiet place to think, without distractions.  How do we get grounded?  Breathing.  Walking or working in nature helps.  I personally believe many of us are dehydrated without knowing it.  If you are not sure if you drink enough water, you probably don't.

There is no perfect decision-maker, no perfect parent, no perfect employee, no perfect life.  But it's good to stretch our personal comfort level of what gives us anxiety if it makes sense to do so.  Do you know what makes you uncomfortable?  Most of us want to get through that feeling as quickly as possible so we purposefully don't dwell on it.  That can be limiting, because our "knee-jerk" reactions can be false.

So next time someone asks me, "What do you think about that?"  I hope to say to them, "Have you gotten clear and grounded?  How do you feel internally about it?"  Can we get that on a t-shirt, please?

Have a great day!

xo
Conni

Meditation Can Help Tame The Inner Beast (Roar)

You know those Super Bowl commercials where someone turns into a beast because he is hungry?  I love the Brady Bunch one!  Many of us feel like we want to rip someone's head off when we are at our worst.

My Inner Beast makes several appearances during the days when I haven't had enough sleep.  Many people tame their inner beasts with food.  There are definitely unhealthy ways to repress the parts of ourselves that would scare our friends, family and co-workers.  We have other options, though.  If you haven't tried meditation, would you consider trying a guided meditation?  It's a gentle way to start tuning into the underlying reasons we get cranky.

With my phone off, I agree to give myself this time.  I lay down in a comfortable place.  I put one hand on my heart and one on my stomach.  I use headphones so I can hear myself breathing, yoga breathing, when the speaker has a period of silence.  If you have 5-10 minutes before bed or as you are waking up in the morning, that is the perfect time to start because the logical part of your brain becomes less busy, less resistant.

The goal is giving ourselves peace.  It's not about doing it "right".  We aspire to accepting ourselves, every single part of us.  Any time we do yoga breathing, we are allowing our body to begin to relax.  It is healthy for our bodies, minds and spirits.

We all get stressed, right?  Counting to 10 doesn't work for me.  When I'm at my worst, yoga breathing does help me calm down.  Whether your inner beast appears weekly, daily or several times a day, don't push it down, choose for it to reduce its power over you.  We can have better control over our emotions.  Our friends, family and co-workers will thank us for making the effort.

Have a great day!

xo
Conni