What Do You Think About That?

Getting clear and grounded before asking other people their opinions about important decisions are key factors in living your best life.  Because we know everyone has an opinion and some people have very strong opinions about everything.

When I am making an important decision, I test my answer by saying it to myself to see how it feels in my body.  I hold stress in my stomach so if I get a stomach ache, I know that's fear.  That doesn't determine the answer, though, because my fears could be unrealistic or exaggerated.

If it's important to you, it's important.  I'm not sure there are as many "no-brainer" decisions as people think there are.  If someone says "that's a no-brainer" and I think "it is?"  I am feeling that his or her answer is better than mine, not true!!  As we learn more about our internal selves, we realize understanding whether or not our fears are an over-reaction is a skill we can develop.

Here is an example.  Several years ago, we realized we had 100,000 miles on an old SUV.  I started to worry about it breaking down so we decided to buy a mildly-used car from a relative.  Then, we decided to keep the SUV because we needed to tow heavy things.  Aarghhh.....my fear led us to making a decision that wasn't worthwhile.  Come to find out, the used car we bought wasn't good in the snow and we live in the Midwest.  I would have chosen differently now.  I try to move past the initial fear of "I now have to take action because this criteria has been met and it is the smartest decision according to them".

How do we get clear?  Try to think about the possible outcomes on the "pro" and "con" sides of the decision.  Then, ask yourself if other people's judgment of you is a factor.  Also, find a quiet place to think, without distractions.  How do we get grounded?  Breathing.  Walking or working in nature helps.  I personally believe many of us are dehydrated without knowing it.  If you are not sure if you drink enough water, you probably don't.

There is no perfect decision-maker, no perfect parent, no perfect employee, no perfect life.  But it's good to stretch our personal comfort level of what gives us anxiety if it makes sense to do so.  Do you know what makes you uncomfortable?  Most of us want to get through that feeling as quickly as possible so we purposefully don't dwell on it.  That can be limiting, because our "knee-jerk" reactions can be false.

So next time someone asks me, "What do you think about that?"  I hope to say to them, "Have you gotten clear and grounded?  How do you feel internally about it?"  Can we get that on a t-shirt, please?

Have a great day!

xo
Conni