"Try" to Love Your Authentic Self

Do you feel the need to conform?  I was the typical "corporate employee", then I was the typical "soccer mom" but I'm breaking away from the restrictions of my labels.  If you feel the need to fit in, maybe take a look at why you think fitting in is necessary.

If you had to choose, wouldn't you rather be happy?  Sometimes the pathway to happiness is filled with steps to become more visible as our authentic selves.  Perhaps our authentic selves wish to conform less than we might expect.

If there was no judgment in the world, would you act differently?  We all share a need to belong, so it's probably not wise to break every rule.  How about breaking a few?  Guilt is self-imposed.  Accepting the judgment of others is a choice.  If people use guilt to manipulate us, we can try let it roll off our backs.  How we feel about ourselves is a choice.

I love the song "Try" by Colbie Caillat.

"Put your make up on ...

Get your sexy on ...

Get your shopping on ...

So they like you. Do they like you?

Wait a second,

Why should you care, what they think of you

When you're all alone, by yourself

Do you like you? Do you like you?

You don't have to try so hard

You don't have to give it all away

You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up

You don't have to change a single thing ... 

Take your make up off

Let your hair down

Take a breath

Look into the mirror, at yourself

Don't you like you?

Cause I like you"

Can you look in the mirror and fully and completely love yourself?  If you cannot, any time you spend practicing will help your self-esteem.  If it makes you uncomfortable, focus on one part of your body that you can love.  We all have made mistakes.  Forgiving ourselves is necessary to heal.

Have a great day!!

Xo

Conni

 

Instead of Starting at the Beginning, Let's Start by Looking At the End

If you had to imagine the end of your life, what would you regret?  Those regrets are lighting the pathway to your new future.  If you have a family but don't spend quality time with them, now is the time.  If you have friends you miss that you've lost touch with, reach out.  If you want to climb a mountain, start with an easy one.

The goal is to live without regrets.  What's stopping you?  Start with a plan.  In every area of your life, take an internal review to see if you are happy, to see if you could be happier and to decide if you will have regrets if you are allowing time to slip away with the daily grind.

First there is family.  Are you seeing the family you wish to see?  Do you feel you haven't given enough time to them, just to "be in the moment" without an agenda other than to enjoy them?  If you have family members that are toxic, don't let guilt push you into seeing people that don't want the best for you.  Everyone has family squabbles but stay away from evil.

Then there's health.  Are you taking care of yourself?  If you aren't eating right and exercising, every day is a new day to begin.  Since I have decided to take a less judgmental approach with my health, I have had more and more easy, effortless ways to improve my health fall into my lap.  Our town has an amazing bike path I plan to use this summer.  I used to love to bike as a kid!

My latest discovery is a product that provides electrolytes without sugar.  It's called Ultima Replenisher (Raspberry) and I am going to add it to my True Lemon Raspberry Lemonade drink mix (great deals when you sign up for their email list).  They are both well made, highly recommended and will cost less than if I picked up a sports drink at the store.  I was having a stomach issue drinking coffee and I found a low-acid coffee that provides seven times the antioxidants as green tea:)

What about your career?  Are you about to incorporate your passions into your work?  If you have a monotonous job to pay the bills, maybe you can start a lunchtime club or a break time group to fulfill the need to have fun and belong.  Are you making use of all of the offerings your HR department has available?

Another component is joy.  What are you adding to your life to feel joyful?  Do you enjoy nature?  If yes, have you camped lately even if it's only in your backyard?  Do you enjoy the sights and sounds of the city?  I always regret not going to festivals in the summer.  This is officially my summer of going to every festival I can attend.

When we set intentions to make our lives more purposeful, we become happier.  It's about planning instead of allowing life to happen to us.  Sometimes, our brains tune out information that was there all along.  We need to revisit what is already in front of us to make sure we aren't missing something wonderful.  In order to live without regrets, we need to be more purposeful.

Have a great day!

xo
Conni

Have You Had Your Epiphany Yet?

Have you had your epiphany yet? Some people have an epiphany as midlife hits and they call it a midlife crisis. They question major decisions that brought them to this point in their lives and they do something drastic to make changes. Others have an epiphany when something bad happens: a friend dies unexpectedly, there is a disaster at work or they have major health issues that inspire them to live differently.

My interpretation of an epiphany is the third definition listed in Merriam-Webster:

"a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something; an intuitive grasp of reality through something (as an event) usually simple and striking; an illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure"

It's like an optical illusion, once your mind "gets it", you understand it forever.  I've had several.  One of my personal epiphanies is that loving myself is one of life's most important lessons.  I'd heard it, of course we are supposed to love ourselves.........but the illuminating part was that once I realized I didn't fully, unconditionally love myself, I had the awareness of seeing the negative effects of conditional, partial love.

An example of self-love would be, "I made a mistake, OK, I'll learn from it and do better next time". Back in the day, I used to want to take out full-page ads in the paper explaining why I ended up making a mistake.  It's about worthiness and feeling deserving too. 

Having to over-analyze every decision is time-consuming and exhausting.  A good friend once said, "I bet you are exhausted living life the way you do".  At the time, I thought everyone was doing the same over-analysis and I wondered why they weren't exhausted too!!

Forgiveness plays a key role in unconditional self-love.  We made mistakes, we need to make amends and LET IT GO.  So when your brother comes up to you at the next holiday gathering reminding you of the transgressions of your youth, laugh and walk away.  The more we buy into other peoples' judgments of us, the more we judge ourselves.  Do not pass GO, do not collect $200, just walk away:)

Change awaits us when we are ready.  If you are not ready, no worries.  When you do become ready, look for intuitive clues about realizations that can help you lead a more joyful life.  We all deserve a joyful life and we all deserve to love ourselves unconditionally.  When you are open to change, the epiphanies come to you.

Have a great day!

xo
Conni