Do You Know How to Breathe Underwater?

Do you know how to breathe underwater? I don't. What if we were told that it was possible? Are you a believer or a skeptic? Can you hope and dream of more than you have in this moment?

If you are a logical, left-brain dominant "thinker", learning a process for something esoteric, like meditation, is difficult. We get caught up in trying to understand it. What if the need to understand something is an obstacle to personal peace and freedom?

Imaging being in a pool at the base of a raging mountainous river. The river is our resistance, the pool of water is our Personal Peace. If we fully accept that, we can imagine slowly sinking under the water to begin to connect with the inner peace that allows us to "breathe" (snorkels optional).

If we try to block the river with a dam, some day it will probably break through causing destruction. If we worry about the river's forceful entrance to the pool, we add stress to our lives. The more we are able to release our fears, the larger the pool of water (our personal peace) grows.

Thanks to scuba diving and snorkeling gear, it's easier to imagine personal peace more than ever. When I have snorkeled, I could only hear my breath and I appreciate remembering those moments as I meditate. It should be only that...Breathe in, Breathe out. Breath is crucial; we must know it is unlimited for us.

My goal for meditation is to reduce my logical, left brain from chiming in with thoughts. Concentrating on breathing gives me that space. With space comes creation. If I worry about not having air available to me, I start to panic...which is the opposite of peace.

That's what stillness and mindfulness are all about. As we are able to reduce distractions and judgment of ourselves and others, we accept ourselves in the moment. Stillness and acceptance create space. It's a skill, we can all build up to it. Let go and believe, one breath at a time.

xo
Conni

Imagine Emotional Free Radicals...Why Neutralizing is Important

My understanding of free radicals is that they are a by-product that can cause cell damage in increased and long-lasting amounts. An imbalance of free radicals (too many) and antioxidants (not enough) leads to oxidative stress, which can lead to disease.

I believe the same thing happens when we have too much emotional stress in our bodies. An imbalance of emotional stress (too much) and peace (not enough) leads to a host of negative effects. Everything we react to leaves an by-product that can build up unless it is neutralized. 

Is road rage really about the car cutting someone off in the moment or is it a build up of what has been happening and has been stifled emotionally? There is a difference between being angry in the moment and being filled with anger. There is a difference between being afraid in the moment and living with perpetual fear. 

We are a nation of producers. We are praised for accomplishments and production. Great work, good job, hip hip hooray...What if the internal work is as important as external accomplishments? How about an emotional processing report card? What if we praised empathy, kindness and self-reflection as much as we praised good test scores and athletic abilities?

I see emotional work as something similar to solving puzzles or equations. I enjoy solving problems. Emotional work can be done the same way. 

• I feel ___ because when this happened to me it reminded me of _____ . 
• If this makes me feel ____ , the next time it happens I should remember to ____ . 
• I always get anxious when I anticipate this situation ___ , I choose to know everything will be OK.

What if each day we exercised, ate well, increased our antioxidants and processed our emotions? It seems like a good plan to me. 

xo
Conni

Can You Imagine Bringing Home the Gold?

Have you heard the examples of how we can now accomplish things we previously believed were impossible?  On May 6, 1954, Roger Bannister set the world record for breaking the four minute mile (3 minutes, 59.4 seconds). It was incredible at the time. The Olympics make us all ponder striving for greatness. However, our minds have to accept new concepts before they can become reality.

The dreamers and creative people of the world help us embrace new ideas. Do you enjoy the concept cars at the auto show or the work of students trying to predict new generations of products? Some people follow the premise "seeing is believing", but we have to conceive it in a non-tangible form first.

There are always risk-takers who are willing and able to expand the limits of what we used to believe was possible.  When our patterns are set by repetition, it can become harder to think differently. People who are "stuck in their heads" may have a difficult time visualizing new concepts. Visualizing is a skill that can be developed. This is when it's important to let go and have no expectations other than taking some time to dream.

As you get older and your responsibilities increase, do you give up on your dreams? We all need to have new hopes and dreams to help us feel vibrant and alive. The key is to be content with our current situation while hoping for more. 

Xo

Conni

Away We Go...Finding Your Flow

We are conditioned to believe our beliefs. Each of us has a unique set of circumstances that have gotten us to where we are today. Nature / Nurture / Experiences / Sensitivities...factors beyond our understanding are contributing to our "set point" in our personal Law of Attraction magnetic force.

The most optimistic person born into this world will become fearful after living in real or imagined fear. We are who we are. The piece that many people don't fully understand is that we can change our personal happiness formula by digging deep.

When we have a reaction to something, the first thing we should do is ask ourselves "why?". Why does this bother me? If you do this for a few weeks, you can probably figure out which situations cause a major reaction. Those are what we focus on first.

Personal freedom includes becoming emotionally free. The more we know about ourselves, the more we flow. Flow is what we strive for. Internal flow is living without emotional resistance.

Misunderstanding comes into the mix when people think they are "letting go" but in reality are pushing away those feelings. When we think we are "letting go" but are not processing, those feelings can turn into hidden anger and resentment, causing internal stress.

We strive for flow. We want to acknowledge and accept emotions as they occur. That allows our bodies to reduce stress...and away we go!

xo
Conni

Secondary Emotions: What are we hiding?

In the course of what I do, I often ask the question, "if you had an emotion hiding underneath your first reaction to a situation, what would that emotion be?" For me, understanding that there is often more depth to our emotional stories led me to great personal revelations.

Secondary emotions, as discussed by Neel Burton M.D. in Psychology Today, involves feelings we are hiding, "Our emotions not only reflect and reveal our values, but also enable us to refine them. It is possible to have an emotion about an emotion, such as guilt or shame about envy, and to revise the primary emotion according to the secondary emotion or emotions.

Moreover, some of our emotions can feel clear or transparent, while others are more hazy or equivocal. For instance, our love for truth or justice is experienced as profound and authentic, whereas our resentment or disdain for a person of higher virtue or accomplishment lacks resonance and leaves us uneasy."

I personally found out I was hiding emotions. I believed I was being authentic. Upon further evaluation, I realized my less attractive emotions were immediately avoided by me as "unacceptable".

Ask yourself, "if I had an emotion hiding underneath my first reaction, what would that be?". This can lead you to amazing personal growth. I had been covering up my deeper emotions with what I considered more acceptable emotions. I didn't even realize I was doing it. I thought I was letting events "roll off my back", even when something bothered me.

We all have events that trigger us. Those events are our "red flags" to understand what we need to deal with at a deeper level. Leading an authentic life takes time and reflection. When we chose to dig deeper, new information becomes available to us.

xo
Conni