The Gift of The Freedom of Choice

Sometimes, when I think about controversial subjects, it can be a good idea to take blame out of the equation.  I put it in a sealed box in my mind so it doesn't cloud the issue.  If you could do the same, it would be helpful.  Ok, great.  Because most of us have the freedom of choice as adults, do you know why people stay in jobs they don't like?

I'm not talking about being irresponsible or going "on the dole" just for fun.  But if you know someone who is in an abusive situation at work, do you know why they wouldn't be open to a better position?  My belief is that it stems from feelings of unworthiness.  If you believe you deserve to be treated badly, you accept it instead of knowing it's wrong and unhealthy.  

When we know we have the power of choice, the decision becomes whether something is worthy of our time and effort, as opposed to feeling like we have to stay in an abusive situation.  If someone doesn't feel worthy, it needs to be changed on a subconscious level to get the most bang for their buck.  

What you believe is true becomes your truth, until you change it.  Let's say you worked your full day, did your best, and even put in three extra hours.  Then, your boss comes up to you and says, "Did you send out the XYZ123 report?"  And you say, "No, sorry, there was a crisis on that other project and it took me all day to work it out."  

If your boss feels like what you did wasn't good enough (perhaps yells and screams) your reaction to her (did you think I was going to say "him"?)  will give you an opportunity to understand what you believe about yourself subconsciously.  If you think, "I'm comfortable with my work today, I did my best and I'm good at what I do", your self-esteem is strong.  If you think "I guess I could have skipped that trip to the bathroom and taken less time to drink that water", then that is a good indication that you believe you deserve to stay in an unhealthy situation.  

If we have an awareness that a situation is unhealthy but we choose to stay because of other factors, at least we understand we have the power of choice.  However, if we feel that we have to stay in a situation because we aren't good enough for anything better, that is when we can work to strengthen self-esteem.  Remember, it really doesn't matter about the boss.  She is in the "neutral, sealed box" because if we blame her, we are missing the intention of this exercise.  It has to come back to us to learn from the situation.

Of course, hopefully it goes without saying that in a perfect world, there would be no abusers, no victims, and peace would reign supreme.  In our non-perfect world, the victim never deserves blame for being a victim.  That is not the intent here.  My point is that if we believe we deserve to be treated badly, we are more susceptible to being treated badly.  And if we have strong self-esteem and we find out our boss is a nightmare, we will leave that situation more quickly than if our self-esteem is lower, when we have the freedom of choice.  

Our goal is to learn and grow each day.  Congrats for doing your best today!!  You deserve to be treated well.

Have a wonderful day!

Xo

Conni

Today's Mantra:  I choose to be aware of how I am being treated.

Mantra for Every Day: I choose to send love to all; receiving love back multiplied in infinite proportions, creating and nurturing pathways of love.