A Tragedy, A Near-Miss and Reactivating Negative Memories

Solutions can be at our fingertips but don't really help us unless we can grasp them.  John Gray of Men are from Mars fame, had his life critically altered by the circumstances of his father's death.  From MarsVenus.com, "In 1985, John’s life was forever changed. His father picked up a hitchhiker, as he often did. This one robbed him and locked him in the trunk of his car under the Texas sun. It ended up taking days to locate his car and John’s father died.

John got the news on his honeymoon with Bonnie. He tried to make sense of the death, returning to the car and locking himself in the same trunk where his father had died. 'I could see the scratches where he had banged on the lid with a screwdriver looking for a way out,' John details. His father had popped out a tail light in an attempt to gain more air. John was able to squeeze his hand through the hole and pressed the button to open."  His dad was inches away from freedom and didn't realize it.  I cannot imagine the pain of this horrific death and I also cannot imagine how someone could hurt a Good Samaritan, but we all know it happens.  We all are triggered into "fight or flight" reactions in an emergency.  

On my way to Michigan with a friend this summer, I was feeling extremely anxious about driving my car.  Even though I usually enjoy driving, my "gut" was telling me not to drive.  I asked my friend if she could drive instead of me.  An hour into the trip, a semi-truck directly beside us turned into our lane as if we weren't there.  My friend veered into a construction zone to get us out of the way.  If I had been driving my car, I know my panic would have caused a much different, slower reaction time because I had a previous trauma years earlier from a near-miss with semi-truck when I had a car full of kids.  My friend's reaction saved us that day.  My take-away was that I realized I had not completely processed my previous trauma about my fear of semi-trucks.

When trauma from previous events stays in our subconscious minds, it can be reactivated by similar events.  Panic begets panic, until we learn how to manage or release it.  Yoga, breathing techniques and meditation are all ways to reduce stress, awaken intuition and strengthen our mind-body connections.

I will never understand someone intentionally hurting another, as in the case of John Grays father's death.  None of us can answer the "what ifs" for every tragedy.  However, in situations where we know ahead of time we might panic, we can use tools to get back to a calm place in our minds.  

Have a great day!!

Xo

Conni