Beginning to Move Forward After Trauma

(Serious subject matter, no humor today)

Each of us have had our turn to be a victim.  Some for an instant, others in recurring situations, and more people that we can imagine are victims in both single incidents and chronic situations.  Trauma doesn't discriminate.  My intention with this blog is to lead you to a place where you can begin to feel safe and hopeful.  Counseling is a wonderful choice, but until you are ready, just know there is hope. 

We can become victims through a series of random events or victims because of our daily circumstances.  The difference between moving on from being a victim or not moving on, depends (in part) on the ability to feel safe.  Obviously, there are both physical and mental components to safety.  Feeling safe comes from within, in combination with inner strength from self-worth and self-esteem, after you have made outward changes.  

Those who advise to "get over it" without assistance, perhaps do not realize that no one consciously wants to live in fear.  "Getting over it" is a process, and we are all doing the best we can at any given point in time. We strive to do better, but we have to have hope in a better future and be ready to change.  We also need to change the self-talk that we are unsafe, undesirable, and unloved.  Change is possible for each of us.

There will always be memories of trauma, but the severity of negative emotions connected to the memory is open to change.  Even if things are so horrific that you can never recover completely, the knowledge that some relief is possible can bring hope to your life.

How can you make yourself feel safe after trauma occurs?  That is so very important.  If you can change your physical situation to make yourself feel safer, do it; but not to the point of closing yourself off from life.  

Feeling safe was extremely difficult for me.  I have bars installed on my basement windows, I have the best dead bolts, I have good locks on my other windows and two dogs.  I remind myself that statistics are in my favor for random trauma not happening to me.  Focus on what you can change, take action, release; "set it and forget it", as they say.

If your self-esteem is low, the humiliation and shame of being a victim is magnified.  Some people feel stuck in this place because they may believe the circumstances were their fault.  If your childhood wasn't ideal, maybe you had a home that didn't feel nurturing, safe, or loving; then you may believe that you don't deserve more.  I can tell you with absolute certainty that you are worthy and deserving of all life has to offer.

Move forward, one small step at a time.  Whatever your circumstances are or were, please know and understand that the past doesn't define your future.  You deserve to be healthy, safe, and happy.  If you believe you are at fault (even in the smallest way), find ways to release the negative emotions of guilt, blame, judgment, shame, pain, sadness, fear.  When you are ready, find someone who can help you.

Have a wonderful day!!

Xoxo

Conni

Today's Mantra:  I allow myself to have hope in a better future.

Mantra for Every Day: I choose to send love to all; receiving love back multiplied in infinite proportions, creating and nurturing pathways of love.