White Knuckle Living, is Your Path Lit by Fear or Hope?

Have you ever been in a traffic jam in construction, surrounded by semi-trucks, on a dark highway that's twisting and turning, on an unfamiliar road?  We call that white-knuckle driving.  Your mind is on alert, trying to find your way and hoping to get to a safe place where you can relax.  

I have seen people living their lives that way, we call it "white-knuckle living".  (Source unknown). That's where that cortisol hormone builds up, the one that is secreted when your fear overrides your normal brain processes.  It's so hard to live your life in fear.  

According to livestrong.com, "Chronic or long-term stress increases levels of cortisol, which plays a role in several hormonal and metabolic reactions that lead to weight gain. It increases your appetite and your cravings for unhealthy foods. Cortisol also reduces testosterone in men and women, which leads to muscle loss. Muscle burns more calories than body fat. When you lose muscle, your body burns calories less efficiently. Also, cortisol increases fatigue, which makes it more likely that you won't exercise to burn off excess calories."

Ok, we don't want that.  How do we stop white-knuckle living?  There is strategy involved.  Start by thinking about the category that gives you the most stress, take action, and let it go, as much as you can each day.  

It starts with an intention:  "I am perfect health".  Once you have made that intention, take action so your mind and body are in alignment with it.  Use quick, easy, enjoyable actions: take a short walk, eat a vegetable, meditate.  I hate running but love the trampoline.  I dislike vegetables but love my chocolate veggie powder.  I love guided mediatations.  Be proud of every small success; adjust and release failures in the moment.  We are all human and we are all allowed to forgive ourselves for our mistakes.  We want to create positive patterns.

If your intention is "I am prosperity", perhaps, clean a closet and give a bag to charity, change your mortgage payment to automatically prepay an extra $20 a month to principle, and spend a few dollars doing something unscheduled and fun (maybe ice cream or a matinee).  Prove, in a small way, that you are prosperous at this moment in time.  

The goal is taking action to change fear to hope and "priming the pump" for good things to be recognized, while rewarding yourself for your efforts.  Congrats!!  Each and every small action you take to improve yourself should be celebrated.   Sometimes, I literally pat myself on the back, haha.  

This is a great start to reducing fear.  Once you are comfortable with that, it's time to get to subconscious beliefs, discussed further in the cognitive dissonance blog.  It's all about hope for the future and taking accountability to make your own building blocks for success. You can do it!!  I have faith in you!

Have a wonderful day!

Xo

Conni

Today's Mantra: I choose to identify my greatest stress and plan small actions to reduce it.

Mantra for Every Day: I choose to send love to all; receiving love back multiplied in infinite proportions, creating and nurturing pathways of love.

Getting Out of My Own Way

People used to tell me I was in my own way.  I never understood what they meant.  Here's the scoop:  if you have the talent, skill set, and have given enough effort to your craft to be proficient, and you haven't found success; that's a clue.

For reasons that haven't surfaced or been conquered, you are stopping your own success; creating self-sabatoge.  Who would choose to do that, you ask??  None of us would choose it purposefully, but perhaps our minds have decided that success in certain areas was wrong, for hidden reasons.

If you have a test and choose not to study; if you have an appointment but don't leave enough time to get there; if you have to cook dinner but don't make it to the grocery store; those actions or lack thereof, create failure, but you realize it's going to happen and why.  

Then there are examples of hidden issues: you are finally able to take a vacation and you get sick; you are trying your best but success is still out of your grasp; you come in second place when you deserved first; you seem to always be a step behind, while using maximum effort and talent; or you achieve something and it gets taken away.   

Some try their best to diet and exercise but can't seem to lose weight.  Others get advanced degrees but can't progress in their careers.  Some attend every sports camp and practice but can't make the team.  We have all heard of test anxiety and telling sport players to get out of their heads.  Fear is part of self-sabatoge, other reasons are varied and personal.

If you are in your own way, no matter to what degree, it is possible to begin the process of change.  It can be complicated, but for now, accepting the possibility that many of us are unintentionally blocking our own success in some area is the first step.  Awareness is always the way to begin.

When you are able to get out of your own way, you begin to see small successes in your life.  This brings relief, more fulfillment and hope for a better future.

Have a wonderful day!!

Xo

Conni

Today's Mantra:  I intend to take inventory of my life and see if I am blocking my own success.

Mantra for Every Day: I choose to send love to all; receiving love back multiplied in infinite proportions, creating and nurturing pathways of love.

"The Definition of Insanity"

If you are beating your head against the wall to try and make something happen, that should be a red flag to you that you need some sort of shift. A shift can be in the form of what you do, how you do it, who you do it with, where you do it, there are an incredible amount of possibilities. 

You could be doing the wrong thing, you could be doing the right thing the wrong way, it could be the wrong time, it could be the wrong group of people, it could be the wrong town, it could be the wrong set of circumstances in so many combinations.  If you are feeling frustrated, it's because you are in your own way.  

Just the knowledge that you have to pull back and create space in a frustrating situation will give you an automatic sense of relief.  First of all, why are you trying so hard to make something happen?  Digging on that question will lead you to the answer that is most likely fear based.  "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result."  Albert Einstein.

This has to happen now exactly in this way because..........(fill in this blank, please).  Why is it so urgent?  (Because if I don't do this, then that will happen)  If that happens, what's your biggest fear?  And again??  The deepest issues here could be feeling unlovable, unworthy, undeserving.  Then, ask yourself "why" you would feel that way.  Those answers are extremely important.

The root of an issue can be complicated.  You are the only expert of your personal beliefs; these answers are within you.  Families have certain patterns and being involved in different groups creates its own cultural patterns.  Combining those variables with your personal circumstances makes you totally unique.

What are you afraid of if you don't get something done now?  And more importantly, how does that situation make you uncomfortable with the person you believe that you are??  Because the uncomfortable part of you will act out and make bad choices in times of overwhelm and frustration.  So understanding yourself is the first step to releasing the disappointment and devastation of failure.

For the purposes of this discussion, this is about personal choices, not whether or not you will take care of your mandatory responsibilities: going to work; feeding the kids; paying taxes.  Relief on the personal level does, however, make your entire life less stressful.  

Have a wonderful day!!

Xo

Conni 

Today's Mantra:  I choose to realize when I am doing something repeatedly without positive results.

Mantra for Every Day: I choose to send love to all; receiving love back multiplied in infinite proportions, creating and nurturing pathways of love.