My Apologies........

If you were to respond to someone's request by saying, "My apologies, I don't mean to sound rude or abrupt but I have other priorities right now and I can't help you" would you be OK with that?  If not, why not?  What does that bring up for you internally?  Most of us have clear boundaries for strangers, but it becomes more difficult to have clear boundaries with people closest to us.  Of course, spending a portion of our time assisting others is important.  The key is balance and knowing when to say "no".

Boundaries are so important in our lives today.  If that makes you angry or uncomfortable, there are internal beliefs involved that are limiting your ability to take care of yourself and your needs.  These beliefs may be ways that you define yourself as a person.  For instance, you might believe "a good person/friend/mother/father would do this", even if you don't have the time or resources to do it.

When people talk about creating your own life, this is an example of how it can play out in a positive or negative way.  If you feel compelled to do something because you believe it is important to how you define yourself, just take a moment to make sure you are doing it for reasons that are important to you.  Choosing to help everyone who asks for assistance doesn't leave a lot of time and resources to help ourselves.

Nobody can do everything, it's unrealistic.  Going internally to make decisions without decisions being dependent on how others judge us will lead us to the right choices.  If you haven't had the time yet to write down a personal and/or family mission statement, using your core values and priorities, it is totally worth the effort.

Saying "yes" to every opportunity to help gives you warm and fuzzy emotions but it can lead to overwhelm, overcommitment and putting your personal priorities lower on your list than you intend.  In turn, that could lead to resentment.  So having healthy boundaries keeps you on your personal path to happiness.

If it's uncomfortable to say "no" to friends, extended family or strangers, write a script of how you would like to respond, using words that are kind but firm, and practice it.   Personal growth can be uncomfortable, but as we move forward, our lives get better and better because we are giving ourselves more time to do what we value.

Have a great day!

xo
Conni

Today's Mantra:  I am willing to say "no" to others asking for help when I might resent helping them.


Mantra for Every Day: I choose to send love to all; receiving love back multiplied in infinite proportions, creating and nurturing pathways of love.