Let's Take a Day to Press "Pause" on Judgment......

We are all imperfect humans who make mistakes.  I can list my top 10, 20 or 30 lifetime mistakes in my head but I'm hoping no one else is keeping a list of my mistakes (and/or checking it twice).

Whether or not someone else does "this or that" or doesn't do "this or that" shouldn't make him or her a "good" or "bad" person.  If you are making choices and taking action mostly to avoid the judgment of others, that is not a pure intention.

Of course, we all want to fit into society so we sometimes attend meetings and events to feel like we are doing the right thing, to check that internal box of what we believe it means to be a "good" human being.  Having a sense of community, a sense of belonging, is a human need we share.

When it comes to us deciding if others made the correct choice, "I can't believe they weren't there", no good can come if it.  It's not my business.  Living for others' approval takes us down a meandering road, away from our personal truth.  A better goal is to have our own approval, regardless of what "they" think about us.  That means we have to accept our imperfect selves exactly as we are in this moment.

I've seen the leader of the Girl Scout troop screaming at her daughter in the parking lot on the way into the meeting to talk about kindness.  I've seen religious leaders in my community fall from grace.  Our egos need us to believe it is ok to "talk the talk" without "walking the walk" as long as no one finds out.  I think it's much easier to live in my body when I know I cannot "walk my walk" every moment of the day.  It's impossible to be perfect.

Yes, we all want to learn from mistakes, but beating ourselves up is detrimental to our self-esteem and personal growth.  If you are constantly in the mode of saying "I could have done better", that is not accepting yourself.  Instead, the belief that our best in the moment is enough will move us toward better confidence and self-worth.  

Taking away the pressure of being perfect allows us to relax into our authentic selves.  Who knows what it feels like to be in someone else's shoes?  I have judged before and I'm sure I will judge again.  Awareness always brings a choice, and the less I judge others, the less I judge myself.

Have a great day!

xo
Conni