And the Gold Star for Pessimism Goes To......

Unless you are a "Risk Manager" and it is your job to find risks, pessimism isn't as rewarding as it's cracked up to be.  If you are someone who loves to share what could go wrong with a situation, maybe dial it back unless you are paid to play "Devil's Advocate".

We are taught to list pros and cons for serious, important decisions.  But after we make that list, we need to make a decision and release the worries, fears, and "what ifs"; because those will weigh us down as we move forward in life.  Anyone who makes an extra effort showing you why you made the wrong decision isn't helping you.

Our brains want us to be correct. If my brain can prove it is correct, it tends to do a "happy dance" and wants to prove it with compelling accuracy.  That's great if it's proving a good scenario and not so great if it's proving why we are idiots for making a decision.

The scope of declaring a decision "good" or "bad" is subjective.  Here's an example:  let's talk about whether or not it's worthwhile to go to college.  On the surface, most of us would encourage a young adult to go to college.  However, if someone goes to college and ends up with a creative rather than professional career, one might argue college (and the money, time and effort spent) was wasteful.  What if he or she went to college and then decided on career where college was unnecessary?

Decisions often have underlying fears attached to regret.  Perhaps college wasn't wasteful because it taught the student how to learn, how to problem-solve and how to develop deep, long-lasting bonds with other students. The person paying the bill may feel like his or her financial future would have been more secure without the cost of college.  Maybe there were scholarships or other financial aid options that weren't found until it was too late to apply.  Maybe a community college could have been an option for part of the time.

Regret is counterproductive after we learn from experiences.  With major life decisions, we can't learn without the experience of doing.  We cannot be "experts" without walking the walk.  Information can be too overwhelming for our brains to understand as we learn and grow.  We only know what we know, so we have to cut ourselves some slack and release tension and worry after the decision has been made.

When is the best time to buy a house?  When should we have kids?  Do we have enough money to replace our furniture?  Should we switch jobs?  There is no "perfect" life and learning from our experiences is what life is all about.  Pessimists can drive themselves and others crazy with the downsides.  So we need to complete our "due diligence", make a decision, and promise ourselves to let go of regrets. 

If we make a decision then need to reassess, regroup and change direction, no problem!  Please, please note: due diligence is KEY to major decisions.  It is defined by Merriam-Webster as - "2  :  research and analysis of a company or organization done in preparation for a business transaction (as a corporate merger or purchase of securities)".

We deserve to live a life without fear, but fear can accompany new experiences and new experiences are part of what makes life joyful and worth living.  Are you ready to order from the catalog of new experiences today??  "Yes, I'll take a large, joyful life-changing activity, please.  Oh, and hold the worry and regret.  I'm cutting back on those."

Have a great day!

xo

Conni

P.S.  If you are the pessimist and can't figure out how to distance yourself from fear....there are ways to feel better about life.  If you are depressed, please reach out for professional assistance today :)